tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-211665792024-03-19T04:46:52.498-04:00The Right ThingBlog for weekly ethics column by Jeffrey L. Seglin distributed by Tribune Media. For information about carrying The Right Thing in your print or online publication, contact information is available at https://tribunecontentagency.com/contact-us/ or a e-mail a Tribune Media sales representative at tcasales@tribpub.com. Send your ethical questions to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. Follow on Twitter @jseglin or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/seglinJeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.comBlogger1281125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-17850657774355491702024-03-17T08:07:00.003-04:002024-03-17T08:09:27.268-04:00Storytelling still works only if the stories are true<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/363ZAmQEA84" width="320" youtube-src-id="363ZAmQEA84"></iframe></span></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /> </span><p></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">How far should you let a good story go to make a point?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A quote widely attributed to Mark Twain with no evidence that he actually said or wrote it is: “Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story.” Perhaps it’s a good thing that this particular gem does not seem to be a piece of wisdom imparted by Twain; it remains questionable if lying for the sake of a good story is a good thing, especially when you are trying to use that story to convince others of something.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Almost 25 years ago, I wrote <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2000/11/19/business/the-right-thing-storytelling-only-works-if-tales-are-true.html">a column</a> titled, “Storytelling Only Works if Tales Are True,” in which I cited several people on how useful being able to tell a good story was in convincing an audience of whatever it was you wanted to convince them of.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Robert Metcalfe, the retired founder of 3Com Corporation, embraced the use of a good story to make a point in business or life, but he was clear on its limitations. ''By telling a story, I don't mean story as in make things up,'' Metcalfe said ''I have told the story of 3Com a thousand different ways. You make it dramatic. You select facts. You add drama. You wink. You smile. You leave out unimportant things that might weaken your point. It's all part of the gentle process of persuasion.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">''But,'' he was quick to add, ''one of my rules is: Never lie.''</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Crossing from making a story dramatic to telling an outright lie could have “devastating effects,” I wrote at the time. If colleagues who experienced the same events discovered you were lying about those events, your credibility could be lost. If lies found their way to the wider world, then you risked becoming known as a fabricator who made stuff up.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">That was 25 years ago. Does it remain a bad thing to lie to colleagues or the public in a story you’re telling? Are there enough incidents of howlers of lies being told on a stump speech or in a widely disseminated media interview that result in boosting a politician’s popularity to make it time to rethink whether lying really matters?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In the movie “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance,” a newspaper reporter discovers that the legend of a showdown with a local outlaw surrounding an aging and beloved U.S. senator was not factual. The reporter chooses to rip up the notes detailing the facts and utters <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iCGSJkIx_w">the now-famous line</a>: “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” That’s bad journalism, but it does point out how people can become more comfortable with what they believe to be true rather than with the actual truth.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Telling or spreading lies to make people comfortable, however, falls short of striving to live a life of integrity where we embrace the hard truths as well as the comfortable ones. Witnessing that others get ahead or thrive when we believe them to regularly play fast and loose with facts doesn’t justify telling lies to get whatever it is we want.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">When telling a story, the right thing remains to make sure it’s true. We owe that much to our audience, but also to ourselves if we want to continue to strive not to become the type of person we swore we never wanted to become.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br /></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-80760525930164525212024-03-10T13:13:00.006-04:002024-03-10T13:13:52.998-04:00Is silence golden?<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In celebrating someone’s accomplishment, should you point out a mistake she’s made?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A long-time reader from North Carolina who we’re calling Rosalind wrote to report that she’d just finished reading a book that raised the question. She wants to know if she should report an error she noticed while reading.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The book was written by Rosalind’s distant older cousin. They’d met a few times when they were teenagers, but Rosalind doesn’t think they’ve had any contact in more than 60 years. Rosalind’s older sister had read the cousin’s book, enjoyed it, and wrote to their cousin to congratulate her.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">After hearing about the book from her sister, Rosalind, checked out a copy from her local library and found it to be a well-written and enjoyable read about her marriage to a controversial and well-known theatrical producer in New York City.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“As I read the book, I considered reaching out and giving my cousin positive feedback on the book too,” wrote Rosalind. That many of the plays the cousin’s husband had produced were “cutting edge” and not shows that she “as a conservative” would be likely to consider seeing gave Rosalind some pause, but then she decided she could simply recognize her cousin’s accomplishment in writing the book.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="margin: 0px 0px 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“Here’s the hitch,” wrote Rosalind. In the acknowledgments, her cousin wrote that her parents “would have been please to know that I, like them, wrote a book.” Clearly, the cousin meant to write “pleased” rather than “please.”</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Rosalind would like to write her cousin to praise her work but also to point out the typo in case she doesn’t know about it already and might be able to fix it in future printings. “If she doesn’t know it exists, however, my pointing it out could be a source of some irritation” instead of any “relative joy” (Rosalind’s pun) of hearing from a long-lost cousin.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="margin: 0px 0px 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Rosalind wrote that her spouse says she is honest to a fault. Nevertheless, Rosalind believes that pointing out the typo could be appreciated by her cousin. She’s concerned, however, that she might be making much ado about nothing and should forget about pointing out the typo.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“What do you think?” Rosalind asked me.</span></span></p><p class="" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Years ago, I wrote about a college librarian I knew who was crushed after being corrected on her pronunciation of English words by a student. She wasn’t crushed because the student had corrected her, but rather because she clearly had been mispronouncing words for years and no one had ever said anything to her. Generally speaking, people appreciate learning about an error they’ve made, especially if they might be able to do something about it in the future.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The right thing, I believe, is for Rosalind to mention the typo to her cousin. It likely shouldn’t be the first thing Rosalind mentions. Instead, she can lead off her note about how well-written and enjoyable a read the book was. I would imagine Rosalind might also want to add a note or two with selected highlights of what she’s been up to over the past six decades. As long as the pointing out of the typo isn’t presented as a gotcha-type moment or a scolding about imprecision or a suggestion that one typo ruined the whole book, I would hope that Rosalind’s cousin would appreciate the sentiment with which the notation is delivered.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-15321669730510160612024-03-03T13:41:00.011-05:002024-03-03T13:47:12.426-05:00Should you let someone know you plan to challenge their ideas?<p></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Do you owe it to someone to tell them when you plan to confront their comments in public?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The first byline I ever had was published on Thursday, March 2, 1972, in The Times-Bulletin, the weekly newspaper of Boonton, New Jersey. I was a 15-year-old high-school student. I got the assignment because weeks earlier I had stopped by the newspaper’s offices and asked if they had any jobs. They didn’t, but I got a phone call asking me if I would be able to cover a local education board meeting for which they’d pay me $5 if it was published.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The piece was published, but when I went to pick up my check, I also received the stern advice that if I wanted to continue stringing for the newspaper, I had best learn to type better and not turn in copy with so many cross-outs and type overs. My writing career lasted longer than The Times-Bulletin, which ceased publication in 1979, about five years after I’d left town.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The second half of that first article was essentially a list of all the votes and committee appointments and similar housekeeping done by the board. But the first half of the article was reflected in the headline for the piece: “Athletics Criticism Countered.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Apparently, at the previous board of education meeting, a resident had attended and bemoaned the inadequacy of the athletic programs offered at the local grade schools. The resident had not been on the agenda and hadn’t given anyone in the athletic department a heads up that he would be making his statement. “I came down here as an individual because it bothered me to see what was going on,” the resident said.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">At the meeting I covered, Glenn Moore, who taught physical education to most every student who went through the Boonton public schools over a 32-year period beginning in the 1960s, had been scheduled to make a report about the status of the athletic program. But because the discontented resident had made his comments at the prior meeting, Moore decided he had to address them. An “awful lot of people called me up and said they thought it was unjust,” Moore said.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Moore had a choice. He could have simply dismissed the disappointed resident’s comments and got on with his report, or he could have ignored the topic altogether. Moore, however, chose to invite the resident to hear his report at the meeting and to ask any questions that might help him understand the status of the programs better.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Moore’s choice always stuck with me. It might have been easier to ignore that resident’s comments and to avoid making sure he was in the room when you planned to counter his argument. But it showed integrity and Moore did the right thing by letting the resident know ahead of time that he disagreed with his assessment, that he planned to detail specifics that ran counter to his complaints, and that he hoped to do it face to face so the resident could ask any questions he might still have.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">No argument broke out. Questions were asked and answered. The board of education struggled as many local school boards do with funding the best athletics program it could, and Moore continued to be a beloved member of the community until his death at 89 in 2013.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioZbvnR6YwuLSJzP3icxXqTIX_6puctaBNj9uLgYIxiTRMgFdaixxtvAcmOMwh0wyhuITsjau14scaxYndZKOm5glWzQYd0iOWB3Bi3Fb1ga1fDF8TgBnI02r9WFM8zDwTfGKcKPHOmsyfSn1RXqsx88o3UMDFu1JI9gsz10TSG9oEho9XQ2M/s722/Times-Bulleting%201.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="722" data-original-width="407" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioZbvnR6YwuLSJzP3icxXqTIX_6puctaBNj9uLgYIxiTRMgFdaixxtvAcmOMwh0wyhuITsjau14scaxYndZKOm5glWzQYd0iOWB3Bi3Fb1ga1fDF8TgBnI02r9WFM8zDwTfGKcKPHOmsyfSn1RXqsx88o3UMDFu1JI9gsz10TSG9oEho9XQ2M/s16000/Times-Bulleting%201.jpg" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsMsLRMiJ8Iw6qQ6EA66kUWQSiGR6kRL9CVWjis4c6ps2oMiFYvp6f5jB0gTZHyA9E6Fg1oNIzhDgqjeTDe9Pq2-DIHiE_dUS3KYlex8FeRXu3mY1qbXVGyuvt_EV9Bjx7djFpvBs-p6uyx-HZKt5rrraWde5BulGqR_U4ocDcc8j6cKtHp74/s481/TIMES-BULLETIN2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="481" data-original-width="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsMsLRMiJ8Iw6qQ6EA66kUWQSiGR6kRL9CVWjis4c6ps2oMiFYvp6f5jB0gTZHyA9E6Fg1oNIzhDgqjeTDe9Pq2-DIHiE_dUS3KYlex8FeRXu3mY1qbXVGyuvt_EV9Bjx7djFpvBs-p6uyx-HZKt5rrraWde5BulGqR_U4ocDcc8j6cKtHp74/s16000/TIMES-BULLETIN2.jpg" /></a></div><br />Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-84401592867865146562024-02-24T22:44:00.003-05:002024-02-24T22:44:23.043-05:00Does being cautious send message you don’t trust people?<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Should you worry if your behavior in a new place sends the wrong message?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Once an avid swimmer, it had been many years since a reader we’re calling Sedna had found a regular place to swim. Not long ago, Sedna toured her local YMCA and found that it not only had a swimming pool, but that it also offered classes that fit nicely into her work schedule. The monthly membership fee was also far more affordable than many of the more expensive private gyms Sedna had once considered.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Just before she was to leave to attend her first swimming class at the Y, Sedna remembered that while the Y provided lockers for each of its members to use, she had to bring her own lock if she wanted to secure her clothing and valuables. Sedna meant to purchase a padlock, but simply had not gotten around it and now it was too late to do so before her first class.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Sedna figured she had two choices. She could leave her belongings in the locker without a lock and trust that no one would bother it. Or she could bring a small backpack with her, jam all her stuff into it, and leave it at the side of the pool so it was within eyesight as she swam. “I particularly didn’t want to leave my wallet with credit cards in it unlocked since I’d recently had someone try to use my credit card without my permission,” Sedna wrote.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But Sedna was concerned that bringing her stuff to the side of the pool rather than leave it in a locker would send the message to instructors and other members that she didn’t trust them. “Is it wrong to be extra cautious even if that might send the wrong message?” asked Sedna.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">On a practical level, if it’s her credit cards Sedna is only worried about, she might consider taking them out of her wallet and leaving them home while she is at the gym. She already has paid her membership and unless she’s planning to make credit card purchases on her way to and from the gym she really doesn’t need it. It also makes sense not to wear any jewelry she doesn’t intend to wear while swimming. If she takes off a piece of jewelry while changing to swim and it goes missing, she might not know if the jewelry was stolen from her locker or simply misplaced. Again, aside from trying to look spiffy, there’s no real reason to have to wear expensive jewelry to the gym. In other words, until Sedna remembers to get a lock for her locker, she should do what she can to minimize her worry.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The right thing, however, is for Sedna to do what gives her the most comfort. If the gym allows its members to leave backpacks at the side of the pool and on this first outing doing so would ease Sedna’s mind, she should do that. Trying to guess what message that would send to others is just that, a guessing game. Others are just as likely to give it no thought at all. But Sedna does know that doing so would give her comfort, so she should trust her own sense of comfort. And on the way home she should stop at her local hardware store and pick up a lock.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-74265236977166624792024-02-18T23:20:00.000-05:002024-02-18T23:20:01.639-05:00Should you nudge friends to pay up?<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">How much of a nudge should you be when trying to get reimbursed for a group gift?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A group of friends who have belonged to a book club for more than a decade were overjoyed to learn that one of the club’s members was expecting her first child. As a surprise, the group decided that it would chip in on a group present for their fellow reader.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">After a flurry of emails, the group agreed on a present and one of the book club members, a reader we’re calling Paige, agreed to purchase the gift and then get reimbursed from fellow book club members. The idea was to have the gift in time for their next monthly book club meeting at which they could present it to the soon-to-be mother.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Two of the 10 book club members Venmo-ed Paige their share of the gift’s cost right after it was ordered. Once the gift arrived, Paige emailed everyone except for the expectant mother to let them know. In a reply-to-all on her email, another book club member asked how she would like to be repaid. Paige responded that reimbursing her via the Venmo app as a few others had already done would work fine.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Upon receiving the news, one more of the book club members Venmo-ed her share. That meant Paige and three others had paid their share and six more book club members were yet to pony up.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“How much should I nudge them to pay?” asked Paige, acknowledging that they all agreed to share the cost and know that she outlaid the money.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Paige wanted to know if it would be wrong to send an email to all of those who hadn’t paid to tell them they could pay her now or they could give her cash or a check when they passed around a card to sign at their next book club meeting when they planned to present the gift? “Does that send the message that I don’t trust them to repay?” Paige asked.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There is absolutely nothing wrong with Paige sending a reminder to her book club friends. Partly, this will let them know of her plan to circulate a card for them to sign at their next meeting, but it will also provide a nice reminder.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The one risk of the plan to let those who owe money to pay what they owe when the card is circulated is that it could send the message to them to hold off paying their share until then. If Paige is OK with that, then her plan seems sound.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But the right thing would be to send it to everyone in the group (other than the expectant mother) rather than just those who didn’t pay. By doing so, she’d be including them on her plan and by naming them she would also make clear to others that those three had already paid up.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There’s no reason Paige should worry about being left paying for more than her share of the gift, but whenever someone agrees to foot the cost for a group gift for which others could reimburse their share, there’s always a bit of a risk. If Paige clearly presents options for those who have yet to pay, it will serve as a reminder and might provide her some peace of mind.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-12306341020834912432024-02-11T08:32:00.000-05:002024-02-11T08:32:37.867-05:00How smart do you need to sound?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">How smart do you need to sound to get what you want?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Almost 15 years ago, I was invited by Bethany College, one of my alma maters, to give <a href="https://vimeo.com/10002377">a talk in Bethany</a>, West Virginia, to high school students who were finalists for a leadership scholarship. The handful of students had been invited to campus for interviews with faculty to determine who among them would get one of the sizable boosts to their financial aid package.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">As the talk was winding down, students asked various questions, most of which were smart but polite. I then asked them if they wanted to know the answers to the questions they would be asked in their interviews. The students and their parents laughed and there was a collective, “yes” and “that would be great” in response. I went on to advise them that in my experience faculty liked to hear themselves talk, so they should do their best to get the faculty talking as much as possible during the interview. The end result if they could get the faculty talking, I told them, was that the faculty would come away thinking the student was very smart because the only thing they heard was themselves talking.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In spite of shifting to emeritus status this past July at the university where I taught for the past 12 years, I still occasionally teach there and elsewhere. At some point in each course, I find the need to reassure students that they do not need to prove to me or anyone else in the course that they are smart by trying to say smart things that may or may not have to do directly with whatever we happen to be covering in class. “Just do good work,” I regularly cajole them. That’s all the proof I or others need about their ability and dedication.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I bring this all up now as some high school students are in the throes of hearing from colleges to which they’ve applied or going through similar interviews that those prospective Bethany College students experienced 15 years ago. Worrying about what acceptance or rejection says about you and your abilities can be harrowing. But these things do not define someone nor their abilities or intelligence.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While it would be nice to believe college acceptances or scholarship decisions were an exact science, they are not. Sure, they are based on academic performance, extracurricular activities, leadership potential and determination of whether a prospective student would be a good fit for what the college offers. But often such decisions come down to how competitive the field of applications is in any given year since there are a limited number of seats available. Trying to sound smarter than you are to get in or get an award rarely is as good an idea as simply presenting yourself and your work as best you can.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Ultimately, the right thing is to just do good work. If a college admissions or a scholarship committee recognizes that, that’s great. If they don’t, it’s as much a reflection on them as it is on the applicant who can then go on to try to do good work someplace else.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> </p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-48828780808004252762024-02-04T14:58:00.000-05:002024-02-04T14:58:07.168-05:00Should reader worry about spouse snooping?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Is it OK to look at more than you’re asked to when a partner asks for your help?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A few weeks ago, a reader we’re calling Vera was asked to do a favor by her younger sister. Vera’s sister lived across the country and had been experiencing some medical issues. She had received a letter from her physician, which she found confusing. So she asked for Vera’s help interpreting, since Vera, while not a physician, worked in the medical field.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Vera quickly agreed to take a look at the letter to see if she might be able to help. So her sister took a photo of the letter with her cell phone and emailed it as an attachment to Vera. After Vera received the letter, she opened the attachment and then found it difficult to read the letter since the image was blurry.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">On past occasions when Vera had a technology challenge, she turned to her spouse for help since he, while not a technology professional, was fairly adept at figuring things out. After trying to enlarge, shrink, crop and do whatever she could think to do with her sister’s letter to make it more readable, she told her spouse about her challenge and asked if he thought he could help make the letter more readable.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">He agreed and Vera logged onto her email so he could access the email with the letter attached. In doing so, Vera realized that her spouse could see all of her other emails along with their subject lines in her inbox.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“Should I have asked him not to read the other emails or subjects in my inbox while he was helping me out?” Vera asked. “Or is it safe to assume that everyone knows they shouldn’t do that?”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">No, of course, it’s not safe to assume that people won’t snoop around if you give them the opportunity to and ask them not to. Then again, even if you ask them only to look at that one email, it’s still not a given they will limit themselves to doing that.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Would it be nice to believe that you can trust people to only do what you ask them to do without snooping around for more information when it’s right at their fingertips? Yes, but that wasn’t Vera’s question.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If Vera didn’t trust that her spouse would limit himself, then she had options. She could have asked her sister to email a clearer copy of the letter. Or she could have asked her to read her the letter over the phone or share a copy over Zoom or a similar platform.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">This doesn’t mean that Vera’s spouse was a snoop. Whether he was depends a lot on the trust the two of them have in one another to do the right thing. If Vera regularly had let her spouse read her email, then he might have no reason to believe he shouldn’t this time. If Vera was concerned that he focus only on her sister’s email, then the right thing would have been to ask him to do so. And once he agreed to try to help, the right thing was for her spouse to honor that request, which, according to Vera, he did.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br /></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-4094228434775982192024-01-28T07:41:00.001-05:002024-01-28T07:41:10.581-05:00How far does a reader need to go when helping a neighbor?<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">How far do you need to go when lending a hand to a neighbor?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A reader we’re calling Monty who lives in New England wrote that he regularly likes to help out his elderly neighbors. Sometimes the help involves shoveling their sidewalks and steps after a snowstorm. Occasionally, he will help carry bags of groceries when he sees a neighbor unloading the car. Monty wrote that he likes to help out someone who needs the help and he also does it because he would like to think his neighbors would do the same for him.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Even when the help has gotten a bit more involved and included use of tools to put together a piece of furniture or to saw up a fallen tree branch after a storm, Monty has stepped in.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But Monty wrote that while he enjoys helping out, he doesn’t like to linger and “chit chat” after the work is done. And this is where Monty’s question about the right thing to do comes into play.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“One of my neighbors always insists that I sit and talk once the chore is done,” wrote Monty. “He’s a bit older and can’t do some of the things he used to do himself, so he gives me a call and I go over to help. I’m glad to help him out.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Monty indicated that as the work is being done, he and the neighbor engage in long discussions about everything from the neighborhood and sports to politics and personal finances.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But whenever Monty tries to pack up and go home after the work is done, this neighbor insists he stay and talk for a while more. Occasionally, when Monty says he has to go home, the neighbor will respond with something like: “So now you’re too good to sit and talk?”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“I don’t want to insult him and I don’t want to feel bad about leaving,” wrote Monty. He just doesn’t enjoying sitting around chatting when he could be doing other stuff. “Is it wrong for me to tell him that I’m glad to help, but I don’t want to hang out and talk after the work is done?”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There could be all sorts of reasons Monty’s neighbor wants to continue talking. He may be a genuinely gregarious person. He may also be lonely and crave company. But Monty has no obligation to stick around and talk if he doesn’t want to. That he regularly responds to requests for help, seems to enjoy helping out, and talks with his neighbor while the work is being done is a good thing and suggests Monty is a good neighbor.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The right thing for Monty to do is to thank his neighbor for the invitation to sit and chat, but to decline the offer if he really would prefer not to. Monty should feel no guilt or remorse about doing this. And the right thing for Monty’s neighbor is to refrain from the comments that suggest Monty is doing something wrong by not wanting to sit around and talk. That Monty took the time to help should be more than enough to suggest to his neighbor that he cares about him enough to want to help.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br /></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-14658186644245262932024-01-21T06:44:00.001-05:002024-01-21T06:44:04.796-05:00Should you do business with someone you loathe?<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Should you do business with someone you loathe?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A reader we’re calling Thérèse emailed me recently to tell me that her husband discovered that his favorite V-neck pullover dark blue cashmere sweater had a small hole in it near the left-hand shoulder. Thérèse pointed out that she had purchased the sweater as a gift for her husband.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">After doing some research online for local places that could repair the sweater, she found general agreement that the best place was a small yarn shop not far from where she lived.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Here’s where things got a bit gnarled up for Thérèse. The shop’s owner is a woman involved in local politics. “My husband isn’t crazy about her or her views on local issues,” wrote Thérèse. “But he really doesn’t like the owner’s husband who is a builder who recently had his crews operating their jackhammers from early in the morning until late afternoon as they prepared to build a house in a lot in Thérèse’s neighborhood.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“I really like that sweater,” wrote Thérèse. “What should I do?”</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Thérèse faces a not uncommon conundrum. She really wants something, but one of the best sources for that something is a place owned by someone with whom she would prefer not to do business. Consumers regularly face such decisions. A fast food restaurant may be owned by someone whose views run counter to your own, but it has tasty sandwich offerings. A charity collecting donations during the holidays uses those donations to help people in need, but it doesn’t condone some lifestyle choices. The founder of a large consumer goods company was widely reported to be miserable to his family. Any of these and<span> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">similar circumstances is certainly enough to make doing business with them unattractive.</span></span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The choice is simple when we have options. We learn to enjoy sandwiches elsewhere or find other charities doing good works, or purchase similar products from companies whose founders are notoriously kind rather than cruel.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If Thérèse and her husband truly find the owner of the yarn shop someone they’d rather not do business with, the right thing is to find another option to repair the beloved sweater.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While reviews may have listed the yarn shop as the best, it wasn’t the only outlet offering repairs. Thérèse mentioned seeing that the local dry cleaner she’s enjoyed doing business with has a tailor on premises. That’s an alternative even if the tailor hasn’t risen to the top of the review site.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Or Thérèse can share any number of how-to mend a broken sweater videos on YouTube with her husband, give him a needle and some matching yarn and tell him to have at it. If she wants, Thérèse can help her husband mend his broken sweater.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There is little upside to being reminded that you compromised your values and did business with someone you’d prefer not to support every time you wear your cherished blue sweater.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br /></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-71588410928978943892024-01-14T09:02:00.004-05:002024-01-14T09:02:27.865-05:00Should she give business another chance?<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Should you do business again with a business that disappointed you?</span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">A reader we’re calling Sylvia ordered a gift from a company online for her partner, who we’re calling Ian. According to Sylvia, she placed the order in plenty of time for it to arrive for a holiday gift based on the estimated arrival date given her by the company’s website.</span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">As the holiday grew nearer and no package arrived, Sylvia grew concerned so she contacted the company. The response from the company was that the package had been delivered and that she should check with her local post office. Sylvia dutifully did as instructed and consulted both her postal carrier and her local post office, each of whom told her there was no record of a package having been delivered to her residence.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Sylvia again emailed the company – repeatedly after it did not respond to her initial follow-up email. She still has heard nothing from the company.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The bad news is that Ian never got the gift. The good news is that Sylvia’s credit card company investigated the report of unreceived goods and credited her account so Sylvia did not end up paying for something she didn’t receive.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“I should have done this before ordering, but I went online and Googled the company and found that others had similar issues with it,” wrote Sylvia, who originally found the item from an advertisement that popped up when she was searching for possible gifts. Others reported ordering and paying for items that never arrived and subsequent customer service silence. Had she known the company had a bit of a spotty reputation, Sylvia believes she would have moved on and ordered something else from somewhere else.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">But a few days ago, Sylvia received an email from the same company offering her a coupon for a significant percentage off the price of any item plus free shipping.</span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">“The thing is, I like a lot of the items the company offers,” Sylvia wrote, indicating she remains burned by her last experience. Still, she asks: “Would it be wrong to give the company another try?”</span></p><p class="" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">What? Huh? There is absolutely no reason for Sylvia to feel obligated to forgive the past behavior of the company. It would be more foolish than wrong to engage again with a company that didn’t deliver the goods ordered, didn’t offer a credit until the credit card company got involved and did nothing to make good on Sylvia’s initial purchase.</span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Had the company stepped up and tried to help Sylvia when her initial order didn’t arrive, it might be more tempting to give the company another try. But the company did nothing, zilch, nada, leaving Sylvia high and dry and searching for a last-minute gift replacement for her beloved Ian.</span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The right thing is for Sylvia to trust her experience and that reported by others and to find another source of gifts for Ian and others. To paraphrase Maya Angelou: If a company shows you who it is, believe it the first time.</span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br /></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-30548622702290991792024-01-07T08:09:00.002-05:002024-01-07T08:09:54.602-05:00Looking back at another year of doing the right thing<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> <br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">A year ago, at the end of 2022, after looking at the analytics for the website where The Right Thing column gets posted after it has run in publications, it was clear that readers were drawn most to columns that touched on neighborly activity, appropriate levels of criticism and paying college students for the work they do.</span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In 2023, the top six viewed columns focused on leaving jobs gracefully, maintaining privacy after death, showing gratitude in tough times and learning how to support children without doing their work for them.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The sixth-most-viewed <a href="https://jeffreyseglin.blogspot.com/2023/02/if-i-dont-like-my-boss-should-i-flee.html">column</a>, “If I don’t like my boss, should I flee?” ran in mid-February. In it I wrote that ultimately, the right thing to do if you don’t like your boss is not to flee the premises in search of new opportunities – although that’s sometimes an option – but instead to ask yourself just how much whatever we don’t like about the boss affects whether you can do the work you’d like to do.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The fifth-most-viewed <a href="https://jeffreyseglin.blogspot.com/2023/04/parents-should-support-but-not-do.html">column</a>, “Parents should support but not do a child’s homework for them,” ran in early April. I wrote then and believe now that it is totally appropriate for parents to help a child with schoolwork as vigorously and supportively as they can, but to stop short of doing the work for them.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">My Feb. 12 <a href="https://jeffreyseglin.blogspot.com/2023/02/gratitude-after-terrible-week.html">column</a>, “Gratitude after a terrible week,” was in response to some particularly challenging events that my family was facing and the observation that we often don’t know what challenges others are facing. I borrowed some words that Oliver Sacks wrote when he was facing death: “I cannot pretend I am without fear. But my predominant feeling is one of gratitude.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">June 4’s <a href="https://jeffreyseglin.blogspot.com/2023/06/how-much-privacy-are-we-owed-in-death.html">column</a>, “How much privacy are we owed in death?” concluded that it was ultimately up to the chosen recipient of a deceased family member’s letters to decide how much, if anything, to disclose to others about what was in those letters.</span></span></p><p class="" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">On July 9, I <a href="https://jeffreyseglin.blogspot.com/2023/07/keep-pearls-lose-rest.html">wrote</a> in “Keep the pearls, lose the rest” about when it was time to let go of old documents expressing anger or disappointment. I resolved to try to embrace the advice of an old friend who pointed out that this is what shredders are for. “Try to dwell on the bright moments of the past,” he wrote and shred whatever irritates.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Finally, by far the most viewed Right Thing <a href="https://jeffreyseglin.blogspot.com/2023/06/choosing-to-say-goodbye-with-book.html">column</a> of the year was June’s “Choosing to say goodbye with a book.” As I was packing up my office to shift to emeritus status and move into different digs, I offered any book from my shelves that a visiting student might want. On a practical level, it meant less stuff to move. But it also meant that former students could have another little piece of my heart in book form.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Thank you, as always, for continuing to email your questions, stories and reactions for The Right Thing column. May your year continue to be full of doing the right thing while surrounded by those in your life who choose to do the same.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2024</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><p class="" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> </p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-15044226432824361862023-12-31T09:29:00.002-05:002023-12-31T09:29:36.549-05:00A compelling example of powerful storytelling<p></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Twenty-three years ago, I wrote <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2000/11/19/business/the-right-thing-storytelling-only-works-if-tales-are-true.html">a column</a> about how storytelling was an effective tool to communicate ideas.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">''People just don't simply hear stories,'' Joseph L. Badaracco Jr., a business ethics professor at Harvard Business School, told me. ''It triggers things -- pictures, thoughts and associations -- in their minds.'' That makes the stories ''more powerful and engaging,'' he said.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The challenge for such storytelling was captured in the titles my editor gave the column: “Storytelling Only Works if Tales are True.” If in the effort to convey an idea, the storyteller clearly crosses the line and simply makes stuff up, the power of the story is lost on the audience.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“The real challenge for any storyteller in business,” I concluded, “is to know that for the message of the story to ring true, the facts of it must have integrity as well.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I bring this up now because I recently came across two examples of not-for-profit organizations using storytelling as powerful ways to address the needs of two different groups of people: military veterans and hospitalized children.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">SongwritingWith: Soldiers (<a data-t="{"n":"destination","t":13,"b":1,"c.t":7}" href="https://songwritingwithsoldiers.org/" style="color: var(--accent-foreground-rest); text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">https://songwritingwithsoldiers.org/</a>) runs regular retreats for veterans at which, among other things, they work with seasoned songwriters to help them tell their own stories through a song. (Full disclosure: My favorite oldest grandchild is active military although he has no association with SW:S.) The veterans are not professional musicians, but work with those who are. Judging from some of the songs that can be found online, the results are quite something – not just for the quality of the songs, but mostly because veterans are given a way to articulate their experiences that otherwise might have gone untold. (There are other groups using music as a therapeutic tool with military veterans, some of which can be found here:<span> </span><a data-t="{"n":"destination","t":13,"b":1,"c.t":7}" href="https://www.operationwearehere.com/musictherapy.html" style="color: var(--accent-foreground-rest); text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">https://www.operationwearehere.com/musictherapy.html</a>.)</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Writers Inc. (<a data-t="{"n":"destination","t":13,"b":1,"c.t":7}" href="https://www.writersincorporated.org/" style="color: var(--accent-foreground-rest); text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">https://www.writersincorporated.org/</a>) also uses storytelling as a therapeutic tool, but the participants in this program are hospitalized children. Working with seasoned writers and editors, hospitalized children are helped to tell their own stories. Some of these stories end up as published books. Others create illustrated cards or painting. Writers Inc. works to find the best outlet for each child to tell his, her or their story. The child retains all copyright to any book published. (Full disclosure: One of my favorite former graduate students is one of the writers working with hospitalized children through Writers Inc.)</span></span></p><p class="" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There is no charge to the military veterans or hospitalized children who participate in either program, which is a pretty good story itself.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Writers Inc. and SW:S are not the only programs that aim to use the arts as a method of enabling hospitalized children or military veterans to share and manage their respective experiences. But these two are strong examples of how powerful storytelling can be.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">During a season where charitable giving is often more top of mind, I share the story of these two not-for-profits that operate based on the kindness of those who see fit to help foot the bill for the cost of operating. Of course, the right thing is for each of us to decide what charitable efforts we choose to support. Nevertheless, both SW:S and Writers Inc. have a compelling story to tell.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> </p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-15401044968327313092023-12-24T05:33:00.002-05:002023-12-24T05:33:55.346-05:00Time to share your acts of kindness<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Once again, I’m asking you to share moments of kindness you’ve experienced. I’ll start by sharing a few recent incidents that occurred during a recent trip to go teach for a few days in Morocco.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There are no direct flights from Boston to Casablanca, so a change was required on the trip over at JFK Airport in New York. The flight from Boston was on schedule, but the connecting flight from JFK was delayed several hours.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">After repeated delays, the airline offered food vouchers of a modest amount to passengers waiting for the flight that could be used at any of the restaurants or stands selling snacks in the airport. People collected their vouchers and some went off searching for food. There was one family with three small children in tow among the passengers. The children were well-behaved but clearly were growing restless. Without hesitation several passengers offered the family their vouchers so they could go sit for a meal before the flight.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Later, as my phone was nearly depleted of its charge, I found a charging station where many passengers, including me, lined up their devices to be plugged in. As I sat waiting, a young man walked up, plugged in his phone and sat next to me. We got to talking and I discovered that he had just graduated college in New Zealand and was flying home after a week with his father in New York City where neither of them had ever been. The morning of their departure, the father and son had a bit of a tiff and while the son went off to the airport, the father told him he’d meet him later.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The son was growing nervous because his departure time was getting closer and he saw no sign of his father. After his phone had charged, he showed me a couple of photos of him and his dad on their trip, and then he went off in search of him in the airport.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A few minutes later, I saw a man who looked like his father, approached him, and told him his son was looking for him. He looked befuddled at first and then went off in search of his son. Because the airport was crowded, they apparently kept passing each other. Eventually, I saw the son, asked him to wait where I was and then went off to find where I had just seen his father go. Finally, they were reunited.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Later in Rabat, after deciding to take the local bus into town, I hadn’t realized I would need to transfer midway. Being deposited in a small village and not speaking Arabic, I had no idea how to ask about getting on the right bus. A woman who must have seen me searching around for clues, came up to me, asked, “Rabat?” and then held up fingers to represent the number of the bus I needed to get on.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In each case, someone, including me, tried to do the right thing by showing kindness to someone else in need.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Now, it’s time for you to share some acts of kindness you’ve experienced. Tell me who and where you are and email your stories to<span> </span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com">jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</a>. I will try to share some of your stories in the weeks ahead.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-36011662710142815882023-12-17T06:42:00.004-05:002023-12-17T06:42:52.608-05:00In spite of Machiavelli, I will choose love over fear every time<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“They will eat you alive.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Those words are advice I received when I started teaching at my last academic outpost. The speaker was commenting on how important it was not to show vulnerability when I taught or to give those in the room a sense of when, if ever, I thought I may have erred and needed to correct myself out loud in the process of teaching.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I mostly ignored the advice and find it pretty useful not to try to convince students that I know stuff when I don’t, regardless of how often that is. But the advice stuck with me.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">What also stuck with me is the colleague who occasionally introduced me as one of the nicest people on campus, but in a way that seemed to suggest this wasn’t a good thing. In the southern United States, there’s an expression, “Bless his heart,” which sounds positive when it is the opposite.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">That vulnerability and niceness are seen as a leadership weakness is nothing new. In the early 16th century, Niccolo Machiavelli wrote “The Prince,” a book that was intended to advise Lorenzo di Piero de’ Medici, the ruler of Florence, how to stay in power. In “The Prince,” Machiavelli wrote that “it is far better to be feared than loved if you cannot be both.”</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">His reasoning might strike some as sound. “Men worry less about doing an injury to one who makes himself loved than to one who makes himself feared,” wrote Machiavelli. “For love is secured by a bond of gratitude which men, wretched creatures that they are, break when it is to their advantage to do so; but fear is strengthened by a dread of punishment which is always effective.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In other words, we have a better shot of getting people to fall in line if they fear the consequences of doing otherwise. When push comes to shove, they might break with us even if they love us since the consequences are less dire.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The term “Machiavellian” has come to have sinister overtones and to connote someone who is unscrupulous particularly when it comes to politics. The sense that you should choose fear over love as a leadership tactic when you can’t have both remains pervasive.</span></span></p><p class="" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Fear can indeed be a great motivator. But I refuse to buy that it represents a better outcome in any type of relationship. If you want followers to help you lead or do whatever it is you want to accomplish, the chances of them speaking their mind when it might go counter to what you believe are lessened if they quiver in fear. If instead they respect (or love) you, then the chances are greater that they will offer ideas that might never have crossed your mind or run counter to what they know to be your typical way of doing things.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Leading by fear too often leads to bullying others into accepting that it’s your way or the highway. Leading with love and respect – and vulnerability – is more likely to lead to a shared vision or goal.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Competence is important, yes. Preparation is critical. But if given the choice between working for someone whom I fear vs. someone I love and respect, I will continue to believe the latter is the right thing to do. I will also continue to try to lead the same way whenever given the opportunity.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of<span> </span><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882" style="color: #ff2905; text-decoration: underline;">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i><span> </span>is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br /></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-12062335916836382502023-12-10T07:08:00.001-05:002023-12-10T07:08:11.717-05:00When someone’s name slips our memory<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">A reader from California who we’re calling Harry has been reading “The Right Thing” column for many years. Over the past 15 years or so, I’ve received an occasional email from Harry responding to the content of a column or offering his own bit of wisdom to a situation about which I’ve written.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Harry now faces an awkward situation for which he’d like some guidance. He’s been retired for several years, but he still attends functions where former coworkers are also in attendance.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“Unfortunately, in some cases I cannot remembers the names of some folks who know my name and greet me with gusto,” wrote Harry. “It feels awkward to ask, and I don’t want my memory lapse to cause hurt feelings, although it feels just as awkward to flail about hoping for a clue.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In his email, Harry asks what the most ethical way to proceed might be, finishing with the observation that my answer might come in handy at some upcoming college reunions he hopes to attend.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It can indeed be awkward to forget names even if you remember faces. In<i> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette</a></i>, a book I wrote a few years ago, I suggested that one way to try to offset the forgotten name was to introduce someone whose name you did remember to the person whose name you didn’t and hope that that person would be courteous enough to introduce themselves by name.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But that’s not a technique that always works in workplace settings. It strikes me that the only wrong response for Harry to make would be to lie or make something up or pretend to know something he doesn’t know.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If Harry is having a good conversation with someone, then there’s no need to stop that conversation to admit that you don’t know the person’s name, unless there’s some compelling reason right then to need to know it. Instead, Harry could finish that conversation and then find a former coworker whose name he did remember and ask for a refresher on any names on which he feels the need.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Harry is kind not to want to make anyone feel slighted because he can’t always remember their name. There are likely just as many people at these gatherings who don’t remember Harry’s name either. But the right thing may be not to make more of the situation than needs making.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Perhaps Harry’s current predicament is exactly why name tags with a person’s name and graduation year are commonplace at college reunions. I’ve yet to attend a high school or college reunion, but if I did at this point it’s likely few of my classmates would recognize me. Few of us had white hair and beard when we were in school. It’s likely that many if not most wouldn’t remember me or my name.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Nevertheless, we can persist in having a conversation and catching up on what if anything we would like to catch up on. Treating one another decently and civilly seems far more important than remembering all the names perfectly.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623156882/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=therightthingcolumn-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2UQXG2HRMNTVNAJX&creativeASIN=1623156882">The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice</a>,</i> is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-26342099462837188982023-12-03T05:43:00.005-05:002023-12-03T05:43:45.679-05:00Less screaming and more listening may yield better arguments<p></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">What’s the right thing to do when you disagree with someone in public?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I’ve spoken and written before about how to discuss topics that can be charged (for example, politics, religion, baseball) calmly and productively with others. One tip I have previously offered is to turn off news programs where people with differing views resort to yelling at one another rather than listening to what one another has to say.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">We should be able to have a civil discussion even if we disagree with one another. One key is not to try to convert someone over to your way of thinking. Rather, listen to his or her view, then share your own, if, for nothing else than to try to have a better understanding of why they think the way they do.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I was reminded of how to engage civilly while disagreeing when I recently visited Alex Strum’s Advanced Placement Language and Composition class at Holliston High School in Holliston, Massachusetts, via Zoom. Mr. Strum, who had been a graduate student in a course I taught years ago, had assigned his high school juniors to read four different prompts for scenarios where an ethical choice had to be made. Each student had to choose one of the four prompts and write a one-page essay in which they built an argument to support how they’d respond to the situation presented.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; opacity: 1; position: static; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">One had to do with social media age requirements. Another was on the appropriateness of searching online for information on an ex-partner. Still another had to do with a middle school teacher who was worried her students didn’t like her enough. The final one had to do with working for an organization whose managers expressed views you strongly oppose.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Mr. Strum hadn’t told the students that each of the questions posed to his students were drawn from some of “The Right Thing” columns I’d written over the past 25 years. None of his students knew how I’d responded nor that I’d be visiting to discuss their responses with them.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While some high school students (or even college students) can clam up in such situations and others have perfected the excruciating discontented eye roll, at least two-thirds of Mr. Strum’s students spoke for about an hour about each question. Even after Mr. Strum asked me to reveal how I’d responded, we spoke some more. Often the students disagreed with my take. Occasionally, they agreed. But they engaged by asking clarifying questions, trying to get at why I might have answered a particular way. I posed similar questions to them. They often did a great job convincing me about thinking differently than I had on a particular issue, even if I ended up with the same response that I had originally offered. (OK, some eye-rolling might have persisted.)</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Listening is one of the primary things to do when you find yourself in a disagreement with someone. As long as they listen back, the chances are elevated that the conversation might be constructive even if neither of you convinces the other to change his or her mind. An hour-long conversation with Mr. Strum’s AP class convinced me such an approach continues to be the right thing to do.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-43371479633393606062023-11-26T14:44:00.001-05:002023-11-26T14:44:04.029-05:00Should an unsolicited tote bag stop donor from giving?<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Should you stop giving to a charity because it sends you unsolicited gifts?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">That’s a question asked by a reader we’re calling Melvin. Melvin regularly gives to a charity. He’s done so for at least a decade. But over the past year, Melvin started receiving gifts such as tote bags in mailings soliciting more donations to the group. Melvin points out that the tote bag was not a thank you gift, but a gift in anticipation of another donation.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“I don’t give to get a tote bag,” wrote Melvin. “I like the work they do.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Melvin wrote that it’s not just this, however, that concerned him. He would like to believe that the money he donates gets used to support the work the group does, not to pay for unsolicited gifts such as tote bags or other items that are used to entice donations. “I’d rather they use the money to do their work,” wrote Melvin.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Melvin is wondering whether he should find a different group to support that doesn’t spend money on such gifts. He wondered if it is wrong to stop donating to a group whose work he admires and has supported for years because of a practice he finds objectionable.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If it’s the tote bag type gift that chiefly bothers Melvin, he could ask to be taken off the mailing list for the charity so he no longer receives solicitations. He can still donate to the charity but he’ll have to do so without the reminders that come in the mail. And it’s unlikely that the charity will stop sending tote bags to everyone.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Melvin could choose to find another charity that gives similar work and give to it instead, but there’s no guarantee that any new recipient might not engage in the same sort of preemptive gift-giving to prospective donors.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The right thing is for Melvin to decide if he supports the work of this charity enough to want to help. If he does and he would like to continue giving, he can check out how much of his donation actually goes to the work being done by looking at a site like<span> </span><a data-t="{"n":"destination","t":13,"b":1,"c.t":7}" href="http://www.charitynavigator.org/" style="color: var(--accent-foreground-rest); text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.CharityNavigator.org</a>, which provides an analysis of a charity’s accountability and finance, culture and community, leadership and adaptability, and impact and results. If he wants to get into more financial specifics, he can also use the website<span> </span><a data-t="{"n":"destination","t":13,"b":1,"c.t":7}" href="http://www.guidestar.org/" style="color: var(--accent-foreground-rest); text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.guidestar.org</a><span> </span>to look up the Form 990 financial form his charity fills out each year and files with the Internal Revenue Service, but these filings typically lag a couple of years before becoming available on the GuideStar site.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Good for Melvin for wanting to support a group that does work he admires and for wanting to try to make sure his dollars get used wisely. If the charity measures up in terms of financial responsibility, then it would be good to think Melvin would keep giving and not let the unsolicited tote bag turn him off.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">He might even decide to start using the tote bag when he does his grocery shopping. A fellow shopper might see the charity’s logo, strike up a conversation with Melvin, and consider donating as well.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-59792136761404204042023-11-19T13:48:00.000-05:002023-11-19T13:48:00.342-05:00Does reader need to light the way for postal worker?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Members of an online neighborhood group in the Northeast regularly contribute to the site on topics ranging from area yard sales and illegally parked cars to scant turnout at the local polling site and great local dining as well as assorted other items that might be of interest to the group.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Recently, the neighborhood’s U.S. mail deliverer, who had delivered mail and packages to the neighborhood for more than two decades, retired and a new deliverer took up the route. Neighbors noticed that it took a while for the new deliverer to get used to the route since the house numbers are a bit quirky. Packages delivered to the wrong address got redelivered. Where the veteran deliverer had always gotten mail to the boxes before noon, the new deliverer’s drop-offs were much later in the afternoon, often into the early evening hours. But the new deliverer seemed to get better at getting things to the right place as she learned the new route.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A few weeks ago, a reader we’re calling Pat wrote that he read a post on the neighborhood online group from a neighbor who reported that the new deliverer asked people to turn on their porch lights when it gets dark so she could better see their mailboxes as she delivered their mail. <br /></span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Most commenters on the post readily agreed this was a simple and thoughtful task. Pat, however, wondered if it was really his responsibility to turn on the light. “If she’s concerned about the dark, why doesn’t she just deliver the mail in the morning?” Pat asked, remembering that their old mail deliverer had always had mail in boxes before noon. Pat’s not sure he will remember to turn on his porch light or to turn it off if the mail is delivered particularly late. “That’s a lot of wasted electricity,” he noted. Pat asked if he was wrong to decline to participate in the new mailbox illumination effort.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I won’t comment on why the new deliverer gets the mail in boxes much later than the former person. For all I know, something changed at the post office where she doesn’t get the mail to deliver as early as he did. Or, given that she’s still new to the route, it just might take her longer to get everything delivered. As a customer, I continue to appreciate when postal workers do their jobs well, sometimes going out of their way to ensure that mail arrives in a timely fashion.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But the answer to Pat’s question is that no, he’s not wrong by choosing not to participate. Neither are his neighbor’s wrong to turn on their porch lights to let it shine on their mailboxes.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The deliverer is doing the right thing by trying to learn the route and do her job well. Some of the neighbors are doing the right thing by trying to be thoughtful to her as she goes about doing that job.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It’s a thoughtful gesture to make the deliverer’s job a bit easier and perhaps safer by lighting the way, but there’s no ethical obligation for Pat or other neighbors to oblige if they choose not to.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-74983874515664958022023-11-12T05:41:00.000-05:002023-11-12T05:41:00.038-05:00What’s the wisdom on clipping a neighbor’s sage?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Fifteen years ago, a reader from Cypress, California, <a href="https://jeffreyseglin.blogspot.com/2008/08/right-thing-do-i-dare-to-eat-lemon.html">wrote</a> that on her regular walk to her local liquor store to buy a lottery ticket, she happened upon a lemon tree whose branches extended beyond the tree owner’s yard and across the sidewalk directly in her path.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“Those luscious lemons just call out to me at times,” she wrote. But she worried that picking one of the lemons directly in her path would be stealing. I responded that if the fruited branches indeed crossed her path, she would likely be in the clear since the owner had allowed his tree to grow into a public area. In fact, based on ordinances at the time in Cypress, the owner might have been in danger of being cited for allowing his tree to impede pedestrians’ ability to walk on a public sidewalk.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Nevertheless, I advised the reader that, even if it wasn’t illegal to pick lemons from the sprawling tree, the right thing might be to ask the owner.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The response to that column from some readers was that I’d bungled my advice. She had every right to pick those lemons if they crossed her path, they wrote. “The legal right of a tree owner extends to the edge of his property and no further,” one wrote. That actually was the point I was making, that the woman had a legal right to pick the overhanging fruit, but the right thing ethically would still be to let the tree owner know.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Last week, I received a question from a reader about a similar issue, but here the line between right and wrong is a bit clearer.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The reader we’re calling Rosemary wrote that a neighbor a few blocks up the street from her is growing sage, among other things, in a small border of his yard that directly abuts the public sidewalk. Rosemary noted that the first frost of the season has already hit her New England neighborhood and that it’s a matter of time before the sage dies off.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“Since it’s going to die soon anyway, is there anything wrong with picking some of the sage?” asked Rosemary.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Unless the sage has grown so wildly that it has overtaken the sidewalk, Rosemary would be wrong to simply clip some sage without asking. That it will soon die is no more justification than cutting some annual flowers since they too won’t make it through the winter. Even if it had overtaken the sidewalk and Rosemary might have more legal standing to clip a few leaves, I still believe she should ask the neighbor.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Instead of clipping away with abandon, Rosemary should take the time to do the right thing and ask her neighbor if it is OK to cut some sage from his garden. Or she can parse her words carefully to indicate that if he plans to cut the sage soon, she’d enjoy taking a few leaves. In a perfect world, the owner might offer the bounty of sage to neighbors without them having to ask. But until he does, Rosemary and her neighbors should remember him as the one who lives there.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-792006895921293772023-11-05T06:53:00.000-05:002023-11-05T06:53:09.689-05:00Is it OK to remove books from my little free library that don’t mirror my views?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">T<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">here are more than 90,000 Little Free Libraries in the United States and around the world. These little boxes that typically appear on top of a post in a neighborhood began appearing in 2009, the brainchild of Todd Bol, who began his effort in Wisconsin. Little Free Libraries became an official 501(c)(3) nonprofit in 2012. Bol died six years later, but the libraries live on.</span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These little containers are meant as a vehicle for people to share books. The builder of the library stocks the library after it’s built and then people take and leave as they see fit. The builder, whom Little Free Library calls a “steward,” can curate the collection, restock when inventory gets low, or remove books that don’t seem to attract the interest of borrowers. The steward acts as a curator. There are no rules about how or what to curate. The goal is to share books.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Occasionally, the Little Free Library nonprofit will encourage stewards to engage in a particular effort. During the first week of October, for example, during Banned Books Week, the nonprofit put out a call encouraging stewards to include at least one banned book.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But mostly, these collections take on a personality of their own, defined mostly by those who happen to borrow and give books.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">One steward recently asked my opinion about whether it was OK to pull books from her Little Free Library she might find objectionable. No title had appeared yet raising concern, but her question was piqued after seeing that someone had left a copy of the Vietnamese Buddhist monk and writer, Thích Nhất Hạnh. Hanh who died in 2022 has written more than 100 books. Some of his most popular are “Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life” and “The Art of Living.” (His short “How to Fight” is a good read as well, as are others.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It was a copy of the 20th anniversary edition of “Living Buddha, Living Christ” that raised the curator’s curiosity. While she is an opponent of banning any books, she does not want her library to become a collection of religious books, particularly the type of religious tracts that are sometimes left in her mailbox. The curator would like to know the best way to proceed.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It’s her library, so she gets to make any rules she wants to make about what to keep in the library and what not to keep. But if she is truly an opponent of banning books, then it strikes me that the right thing to do is to continue running her library how she told me she always has run it.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">She makes sure the library is well stocked and easy for passersby to access. She removes any copies of books that appear to be waterlogged, ripped or otherwise damaged. She adds books when inventory seems low and removes books if her library is getting too crowded. But she also removes books from her library that don’t seem to attract any interest after a month or two. Part of the joy of having the library is the activity it creates among neighborhood readers.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If her library is overrun by religious tracts after someone has removed all the books, then she would be right to restock. But if one book appears that seems like it might not be her cup of tea, then the right thing might be to let circulation take its course.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-53328343460757632482023-10-29T11:09:00.001-04:002023-10-29T11:09:09.065-04:00How honest should you be when someone asks for help?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">T<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline !important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">here are times when telling the whole truth is simply cruel, as when a doctor can choose whether to tell a dying patient in clinical detail how his health will decay, I wrote 25 years ago in a column about how high-profile figures had been caught in a lie. “There’s great room for discretion, for knowing when not to speak,” Sissela Bok, the author of <i>Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life</i> (Vintage Books, 1989) told me back then.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But how honest should you be when someone asks you for their opinion on something on which they’ve been working hard and about which they are clearly quite proud? If a friend or colleague has, for example, been working on a cover letter for a job, a letter to the editor of a publication, a grant proposal, an opinion column, a book, or other similar efforts and he, she or they asks you for your feedback, how honest should you be?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Presumably, if the person is asking you for feedback they want your feedback so they can make whatever they are working on as strong and clear as it can possibly be. There are times, however, where some people asking for feedback simply want confirmation of the brilliance of their existing effort. In the latter case, the result of offering constructive criticism may result in a bit of a rift between the asker and the respondent.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I get asked regularly to review work for people. When it’s work done by a student for class, the expectation is that they will receive as many constructive comments as I can muster and I try to deliver. But often it’s a friend or colleague. I have no way of knowing at the outset if they are simply looking for confirmation of their brilliant effort or if they truly want comments that I believe might make what they’ve done stronger. (A hint of the latter is often when the request to me is prefaced by a comment like: “All of my friends love this. What do you think?”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">What’s the right thing to do in such situations?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">For those asking for feedback: If you really don’t want feedback and might resent any feedback you receive, the right thing is not to bother asking. It would be better if you truly thought that feedback might improve what you’ve done, recognizing that you don’t have to take all or any of the suggestions someone offers. But if you are incapable of accepting feedback and really only want a sign off on your existing brilliance, don’t waste the other person’s time.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">For those giving feedback: The right thing is to be honest, but to be clear and specific in your comments. Stay focused on the work itself and how it might be improved rather than judging the person because he doesn’t know how to use a reflexive pronoun correctly. Whatever the project is, it’s good to remember that it’s the other person’s work, not yours. In giving feedback, your role is to try to assist them in making their work as strong and clear as it can be.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">For readers of my column: I continue to appreciate the feedback some of you regularly send, often about how I might do better. I will continue to try.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-82795951834210830712023-10-22T08:28:00.007-04:002023-10-22T08:30:38.955-04:00When a service provider disappoints, what do we owe them?<p></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">What, if anything, do we owe service providers when we decide to no longer use their services? The question seems a simple one. Many of us have left cable service or cell phone providers because of consistently poor service or outrageously high prices.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Beyond ceasing to pay our former provider after breaking up, we rarely if ever feel the need to explain why we are leaving. Occasionally, the old provider might send an impersonal email or letter letting us know it really, truly missed us and wanted to woo us back. But where were these “baby, I love you” letters when we were waiting on hold for 37 minutes before being disconnected? We’ve moved on. Nevertheless, old providers will persist in trying to woo us back.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But what about when the service provider is not some large impersonal corporation where the only employee we might ever have seen was the person sitting in a company van in our neighborhood? If we know the person whose services we are severing, do we owe them an explanation?</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A reader we’re calling Bob had been using an accountant we’re calling Zack to file his annual income tax forms. Bob had met Zack when Zack was a CPA with a large accounting firm that had done work for the company where Bob worked. They had made idle chit chat and struck up a cordial relationship before Zack struck out to launch his own accounting firm.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The first two years went well. Bob would call to set up a meeting with Zack after he’d filled out the tax organizer Zack had sent him. They’d discuss his taxes, and Bob’s tax forms would arrive for his signature shortly after. In year three of their relationship, after Bob showed up for his annual appointment, he found himself meeting with Ted, a recently hired junior accountant at Zack’s firm.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Bob was disappointed that Zack had never called him to tell him he would be shuttling him to a junior member now that the firm was growing. That disappointment grew and Bob decided to find a new accountant.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Months later, Bob ran into Zack at a holiday party at the company where they had met. Once again, they fell into idle chit chat that led to Zack mentioning to Bob how disappointed he was that he had never called or emailed him to let him know he was changing accountants.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Not knowing how to respond, Bob said nothing, but wonders if he owed Zack, his accountant, an explanation.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">He doesn’t. He had every right to be disappointed that Zack never mentioned he’d be moving him to a junior associate, which would have been the right thing to do. If Zack had told Bob his reason it might have helped Bob to see the wisdom of providing future clients with such information, but Bob had no obligation to help Zack run his business better.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">When services no longer meet our needs, regardless of the reason, we have no obligation to stick with those services if we have other options. Service providers would do well to remind customers how much they love their business while they are still in the fold and better yet to show them the respect that makes this point for them.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br /></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-44924336903607527512023-10-15T08:23:00.005-04:002023-10-15T08:23:55.572-04:00Is it OK to embellish our accomplishments?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Is it ever OK to exaggerate your accomplishments?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Several years ago a colleague pointed out to me that another former colleague of ours had listed himself as the founding editor of a publication we knew he’d contributed to but hadn’t founded. A few weeks ago, another colleague from the same publication exchanged texts with me about a different former colleague who made a passing reference in a social media post to a website he’d launched where we remember him being an entry-level employee. (One of us remembers him as an intern. Each of us is certain he didn’t launch the site.)</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I was listening to a podcast the other day where one of the hosts lists among his many accomplishments his own radio show. While I know the podcaster is a frequent guest on someone else’s radio show, it’s not really the podcaster’s radio show, even if it sounds more impressive to say so. I do enjoy his appearances on that radio show and would have found it impressive enough to mention that he’s a regular guest.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Do such embellishments matter?</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If such exaggerations were listed on a resume or curriculum vitae and were discovered, they likely would indeed matter. Reports of people who have lied about their credentials when applying for a position only to find themselves removed from that job as a result are fairly abundant. They’re also not new. I wrote about a high-profile case about 20 years ago involving the president of the U.S. Olympic Committee who apparently had not earned the doctoral degree she claimed.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But the fear of getting caught exaggerating or outright lying should not be the motivation to avoid embellishment accomplishments. Granted, such embellishments may start as what are perceived to be small tales to boost a profile. But often these small tales take on a life of their own and can easily turn into larger lies that need to be fed. For those who engage in such embellishments, I suppose, the imposter syndrome is not a psychological condition so much as a reality of their own making.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There is a line between trying to paint yourself in the best possible light and claiming ownership of accomplishments that never happened. The former might include a well-wrought cover letter using strong action verbs and vivid stories to inform a prospective employer what you’ve done. But it doesn’t include allowing your exuberance to cascade over into fabrication.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The right thing is to be truthful no matter how boastful you choose to be. If you want to build trust with others, own your accomplishments without feeling the need to make stuff up.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If being truthful isn’t motivation enough, then go ahead and remember that it’s often not the small lies we tell that trip us up. It’s the lies we tell to cover those lies that do us in. Whether you’re applying for a job or posting on social media, remembering that there are those who know if you’re making stuff up out there. Let them and others appreciate you for who they know you to be and for the stuff you’ve actually done. It’s likely impressive enough.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span> </span> <br /></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-87871348512387464362023-10-08T09:10:00.006-04:002023-10-08T09:10:37.173-04:00Should you correct email sender on factual errors?<p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">When, if ever, should you correct someone who spreads factually incorrect information to you and others on email?</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Last month, The Right Thing marked its 25th anniversary of running as a column. A reader we’re calling Harris has been reading and responding to the column for more than a decade, after first discovering it when it ran in a North Carolina newspaper. Harris is an attentive reader, offering both praise and correctives when they are called for.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A few weeks ago, Harris wrote to tell me about an email-only connection he had developed with a man in his area several years ago based on their “common political outlook and interest in the news.” The man regularly forwards a lot of political cartoons and commentary to Harris.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But recently, after Harris started fact-checking some of the man’s missives, Harris found some claims in the emails to be false.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“I politely asked him not to send things to me that he hasn’t verified,” wrote Harris.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Late last month, Harris and several others on an email chain received a video from the man with a video with the sarcastic comments “Thank you, Democrats” and “Sad but true” preceding the video link.</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“Regrettably, I found multiple sources that said the video wasn’t true,” wrote Harris. “Normally, I would have just ignored it, but then I received a 'reply-all' email from one of the other recipients saying, 'well, damn this is scary as hell.'”</span></span></p><p class="continue-read-break" data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Harris finds it unfortunate that the man shows the email addresses of all the recipients, none of whom Harris knows.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Harris asks if he should email the responder to “ease her pain,” email all the recipients and the man to set the record straight, email only the man to suggest he send a correction, or just mind his own business.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“I’m inclined towards the latter,” wrote Harris, in part because after he learned the man’s wife had died recently, he had called him for the first time to offer his condolences and suggest they might meet for lunch “when he gets his life back in order.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“I believe in ‘truth, justice, and the American way,’” wrote Harris, “but it gets complicated when feelings are involved.”</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While Harris is showing grace by not wanting to criticize the man for spreading an error-filled email, that alone should not be enough to stop him from emailing him to let him know the facts in his recent email were wrong.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Harris had already asked the man not to share un-fact-checked forwards with him. And while the man was grieving, that grief did not stop him from sending the email. If Harris believes it’s important to let him know the facts in the email were wrong, the right thing is to email him to let him know.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Were it me, I would email the man directly and let him decide whether to send a corrective to the entire list. Harris might also take that moment to ask the man if he could blind copy his recipients rather than have all their email addresses visible on the emails he spreads.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">He could also remind him he’d prefer to be taken off the list of emails that aren’t fact-checked.</span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If he’s still up for an in-person lunch, he can lead with that – all the more reason to email him alone and not all those on the email string unless he’s looking for a bigger crowd at the lunch table.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p data-t="{"n":"blueLinks"}" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Midlevel", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-16043088672674197542023-10-01T09:13:00.003-04:002023-10-01T09:13:19.694-04:00What should I do with misdelivered mail?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="gmail-krttext" style="margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">A reader we’re calling Cliff wrote that
every time his regular U.S. mail carrier goes on vacation, he ends up getting
mail meant for his neighbors that is misdelivered to his house.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">“I
can always tell when there’s a substitute on duty,” Cliff wrote, noting that
often it’s only the mail from his next-door neighbor, but sometimes it’s mail
meant for four or five different houses along his street.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">If
Cliff happens to be on his front porch when the substitute mail carrier
arrives, he checks the mail and will hand back any misdelivered pieces. But
most often, Cliff only discovers the errors long after the mail carrier is
gone.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">Cliff
wants to know what the best thing to do is. Put the mail back in his own box
with a note to the mail carrier? Drop the mail meant for others into a postal
box up the street from his house? Call the local post office? Or simply put his
neighbor’s mail in their mailboxes? Cliff also wants to know if it’s OK to
simply toss anything that looks like it’s junk mail with a neighbor’s name on
it.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">I
am not an expert in federal laws regarding U.S. mail, but Cliff should not
destroy any mail addressed to someone else even if he deems it to be junk. That
decision about junkiness should be left to the intended recipient.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">Any
of the options Cliff asked about seem reasonable, though it’s not likely that
calling the local post office will help a great deal if the substitute mail
carrier changes every time the regular carrier is on vacation.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">If
Cliff knows his regular mail carrier well enough, he might want to take the time
to let her know about the recurring misdeliveries when she is on vacation. The
regular mail carrier might have advice on how best to proceed.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">She
might advise Cliff that calling the local post office might actually have some
positive affect. Or she might be willing to let others at the post office know
about the recurring issues.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">My
experience with local postal carriers in the city where I live has been largely
positive. I once wrote about my former mail carrier (now retired) who spent
months tracking down three boxes of books meant to be delivered to me that
somehow ended up on someone’s porch several blocks away.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">While
Cliff putting the misdelivered mail back in his box or dropping it in the
mailbox up the street might get the mail to its intended recipient at some
point, the most expedient thing might be for Cliff to walk next door or up two
or three doors to give the intended recipient his mail.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">Granted,
Cliff has no obligation to do the mail carrier’s job for him. But the simplest
and most direct solution seems to be to just give the right person their mail.</span></span></p>
<p class="gmail-krttext" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">Again,
I’m no expert in federal U.S. mail laws, but taking a few moments to get
something that belongs to someone else strikes me as a neighborly and right
thing to do.</span></span></p><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of<span> </span><a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.jeffreyseglin.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=WO-RGvefibhHBZq3fL85hQ&r=aNVmzmwaLvtmWKnnRLvQmy3YBhiHMR4jHrG38IbngVs&m=6jVJqMTuxP1dSoLrQOUk6YriLK-KFvsBae9ty0hx6cx5zzvc82BUyehsfncepMxw&s=8nNv_1pCPqNyXihdAcqYcpcoHSBoJFI2qtGRehHx9n0&e=" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;"><span>www.jeffreyseglin.com</span></a><span>, a blog focused on ethical issues.</span></span></span></p><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to<span> </span></span><a href="mailto:jeffreyseglin@gmail.com" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span>jeffreyseglin@gmail.com</span></a><span>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Follow him on Twitter<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/jseglin" style="color: #d21111; text-decoration: none;">@jseglin</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><p class="xmsonormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, Sans-sarif" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #2b2b2b; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 17px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(c) 2023</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.jeffreyseglin.com/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">JEFFREY L. SEGLIN</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Distributed by</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/advice/the-right-thing/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #7421ad; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdfafe; color: #5e5e5e; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, LLC.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.com0