tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post114269322828556235..comments2024-02-19T08:12:53.815-05:00Comments on The Right Thing: MOTHER'S BIG HELPERSJeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-1142738146055212292006-03-18T22:15:00.000-05:002006-03-18T22:15:00.000-05:00I think the problem is often knowing what to say a...I think the problem is often knowing what to say and how to say it. As a whistleblower, I've felt threatened by what may happen if I say something. Phrasing a response as a question, being factual and non-judgemental is a neutral approach that can get good results. For example, not drawing conclusions or labeling what you saw, by saying she's shoplifting or stealing.<BR/><BR/>This doesn't always work, but being direct with some people can make things ugly.<BR/><BR/>Children at this age may only have a vague idea of what money is and how our economic system works. Nevertheless, they need to learn. A curious 1-year old picking something up is clearly different from a 7 year-old.<BR/><BR/>It appears to me that this was not the first time the girl had shoplifted. She needs help beyond this instance and the first step is helping her caretakers to be aware of the problem. <BR/><BR/>I would have said to the grandparents, "Did you know your granddaughter just now put several items from that shelf into her pockets?" (The facts.) This puts the ball into their court. If said loud enough for the clerk to obviously hear it they'll do the right thing in the store and return the items. <BR/><BR/>If they are conscientious, the grandparents will have a talk with the parents and child to be alert of and prevent future incidents.<BR/> -RonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-1142727985777306182006-03-18T19:26:00.000-05:002006-03-18T19:26:00.000-05:00I grew up in a small town, so if I ever did anythi...I grew up in a small town, so if I ever did anything wrong, my mother knew about before I got home. Today it is very different! When I have corrected a child or brought his/her disruptive behavior to the mother's attention in my place of business, some have been thankful, but many have told me I had no right correcting her/his child. Even so, as it is my business, I keep a close watch on children and will take steps to make certain that little or big hands do not "lift" anything. Because there is always the possibility that a parent's (or grandparent's) reaction to a stranger alerting him/her of the child's sticky fingers could be explosive, it would probably have been safer for Zak to have mentioned to the girl that she needed to give her purchases to the grandmother so that both the child and the grandmother would have been aware of the situation. That also would have alerted the clerk to what was happening.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-1142697205809986282006-03-18T10:53:00.000-05:002006-03-18T10:53:00.000-05:00Personally, I would have looked right at the girl ...Personally, I would have looked right at the girl and said to her and only to her, "If you aren't going to pay for those, put them back." I'd give her the first shot at putting the things back, and then I would say something to the grandparents, loud enough for them and their granddaughter to hear.<BR/><BR/>I don't have a problem correcting the behavior of other people's kids. And I expect other mothers to correct mine.<BR/><BR/>As an example, I came back to the play area of our McDonalds to discover that a group of teenagers had taken a tray up to the top of the play feature and were 'surfing' down the slide. I walked right up to them, told them to stop, that they didn't belong playing here, what they were doing was incredibly dangerous to small children, and that if they did not all leave right now, I would skip talking to the manger and call the police. <BR/><BR/>The kids left and a number of parents thanked me. I did finally look at one of them and said, "Why didn't you do anything about them?"<BR/><BR/>Bad behavior is bad behavior. It is every Mom's job to point it out and stop it. Tell me I shouldn't be correcting your kids, I will agree. You should be correcting your kid.yawningdoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13483932231487327038noreply@blogger.com