tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post116516044390073801..comments2024-02-19T08:12:53.815-05:00Comments on The Right Thing: YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU, BUT WHAT THEN?Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-1165260251627424252006-12-04T14:24:00.000-05:002006-12-04T14:24:00.000-05:00Dear Jeffrey, Are you kidding? You suggeste...Dear Jeffrey, <BR/> Are you kidding? You suggested a 77-year-old mother leave her $700,000 house to her two free-spending daughters and her blind son, and the remaining $100,000 to her other five kids.<BR/><BR/> Let's see. How long will it take the two irresponsible daughters to force the sale of the house and leave their brother with inadequate funds to live on?<BR/><BR/> Here's a better idea: Put the house AND the money in a trust to be administered for the benefit of the handicapped son during his lifetime. The two daughters could live there free on the condition that they maintain the property, pay their share of expenses and assist their brother as needed. Following his death, the entire estate would be distributed equally among the eight children or their estates.<BR/><BR/> Not only is this fair, but it refuses to indulge and enable these two women in their bad habits, which you describe as "unfortunate." Unless those "relationships and events" include unavoidable medical conditions, their poor choices in no way put them on a par with the brother's actual need. <BR/><BR/> Sincerely,<BR/><BR/> Jackie Hyman<BR/> Brea, Calif.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-1165257238214061812006-12-04T13:33:00.000-05:002006-12-04T13:33:00.000-05:00"Anonymous" (longwindedly) wrote, inter alia; "The..."Anonymous" (longwindedly) wrote, inter alia; "The two daughters have shown poor judgment in the past through choosing poor relationships."<BR/><BR/>This is not what the "hypothetical" stated. Not is this the sole, or even a fair, inference from their plight. Additionally, the remaining siblings may have made poor choices in their relationships as well. They may (as noted) also be in debt, or might became so of they get divorced in future. (MOST women are in poor shape financially after divorce. this is a fact.)<BR/><BR/>BUT the comments about joint ownerhsip of the house between the siblings have some merit. There situation may well be the precise opoosite of what the professional pessimist wrote-- the sisters might be excellent caretakers for their brother-- but the situation should be thoroughly thought out. A special needs trust might be indicated.<BR/><BR/>Alas, many, if not most, lay people in DM's position do not trust lawyers, nor do tthe have the means to compare value between aggressely marketed paralegal and "mill" providers.<BR/><BR/>But this is not "ethics"-- it's practical and legal. And it can't be resolved by evalauating what DM "should" do. Chances are she will do what's easiest. this is her right, and the results, while predictable in many cases, are not "unethical"-- just suboptimal.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-1165246428108527972006-12-04T10:33:00.000-05:002006-12-04T10:33:00.000-05:00I enjoyed your Sunday December 3, 2006 article. H...I enjoyed your Sunday December 3, 2006 article. However, I am<BR/>greatly concerned over the advice for a solution that was given to D.M.<BR/><BR/> Your column outlined that D.M. has five financially responsible children, two daughters who reside with the mother, and a blind son. Currently the two daughters and the blind son reside with D. M. It is my<BR/>opinion that the 7 children be treated equally, and the physically<BR/>handicapped child may or may not be treated differently.<BR/><BR/> I concur that the money is hers and she has no ethical obligations to distribute her money equally to any specific child. She may bequeath all<BR/>of her money to a charity of her choice, or have her ashes sent to the moon if she wishes. However, I believe that no child should ever be given preferential treatment solely due to that child’s financial irresponsibility.<BR/><BR/> The two daughters have shown poor judgment in the past through<BR/>choosing poor relationships. They were also likely responsible for the events that have left them financially strapped. This behavior is likely to continue in the future. Through willing the house to her blind son, and<BR/>these two daughters, she is forcing him to choose inappropriate roommates. In a few years, the blind son is likely to be financially strapped and homeless.<BR/><BR/> The son will likely not be able to sell the home without the consent of the other two daughters. The daughters may take out mortgages, second mortgages, and third mortgages on their share. They may choose dangerous<BR/>mates that will also have the right to live there. They are likely to not afford any of the utilities, and might not pay for food. The past experience of the daughters has shown that they will be unlikely to afford the taxes, nor will the blind child be able to afford all of the taxes of a<BR/>$700,000 on a minimum wage job. The actions of at least one of the<BR/>daughters will likely result in the foreclosure. Further, because they can not afford normal maintenance and upkeep the home will be devalued, and the son will receive less in the foreclosure than if the home had been sold<BR/>outright in the beginning.<BR/><BR/> If D.M.’s wishes are to assure proper housing for her blind child, it would be better to seek the advice of her attorney on this specific issue, a tax attorney, and also the advice of a financial consultant. The attorney<BR/>should be able to locate services that will provide assistance for the blind child. They may also be able to find governmental assistance for the child to obtain a condominium, alleviating much of the upkeep expenses.<BR/><BR/> The mother also likely does not know the full financial situations of her other children. The five children may also have financial issues, but work to resolve them on their own, rather than burden their elderly mother.<BR/><BR/> I completely agree with you that the right thing for each child is to thank their mother for any assets that she wills them.<BR/><BR/> Unfortunately, past experience for me has shown that while the five financially responsible children will understand should the lawyers and<BR/>consultants recommend that additional assistance be given to the blind child, the two daughters residing with her will likely no be so grateful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-1165203400771010952006-12-03T22:36:00.000-05:002006-12-03T22:36:00.000-05:00You dispose of your estate however you wish. I th...You dispose of your estate however you wish. I think it is quite common to consider needs above a strict division of assets. And while you own no one anything or any explanations, in the interest of reducing hurt feelings after your passing I think it would be a positive step to outline your plans and reasons.<BR/><BR/>Wendy Hagmaier<BR/>Fullerton, CAAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com