tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post2305129654530814548..comments2024-02-19T08:12:53.815-05:00Comments on The Right Thing: THE RIGHT THING: HAS THIS PARENT CROSSED THE LINE?Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-83280992752597873532009-02-24T08:42:00.000-05:002009-02-24T08:42:00.000-05:00When in doubt of abuse on a child, observing for a...When in doubt of abuse on a child, observing for an extended period of time from afar BEFORE doing anything is best. If you think someone is abusive, you will see it in those minutes watching them carefully. If you don't, you could be dead wrong!<BR/><BR/>For instance, once I saw a lady speaking very loudly to both her kids as they stood by her SUV in a mall parking lot. I thought it was a bit much when she told them to put their hands on the car and not to move until she got the things in their car (it kind of reminded me of a cop saying the same to a criminal with the tone she used). <BR/><BR/>Then again, was this just one frustrated parent that had a bit too much Christmas shopping done that day (it was night time and near Christmas, after all), or was it a mom who had lost all her senses and really needed to be picked up by authorities? I didn't notice anything further damaging, so I did nothing. <BR/><BR/>My daughter, who's fifteen, observed all this as well and told me when we got in the car, "Mom, if you ever treated me like that, I'd probably run away." I almost laughed but stopped myself. I then told her, "Nah, I just couldn't be that way. When you and your brother were young, I held your hands throughout the store. If we didn't get to do that, well, we left the store and that was that." My best success with the kids would be a candy or ice cream stop AFTER the store trip (which I would try and keep at a half hour or less). They were well behaved with that technique, believe me. They knew we'd go home without that if they weren't! <BR/><BR/>What happened to the loud lady with the kids? She got in the car after getting her kids in there and left. I did too, just about the same time. <BR/><BR/>Who knows what someone else in my place would have done to that lady? People nowadays want to call abuse on everyone. Wait and observe, then act on your gut instincts, if anyone out there knows what that is. You can't judge by one action alone, I say! A tap in the case your reader mentioned could have been nothing. No one knows because no one but the reader was there to observe. It's a judgment call on the person who is present.<BR/><BR/>Take care, <BR/><BR/>Enea OstrichAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-88889561739147620472009-02-23T20:05:00.000-05:002009-02-23T20:05:00.000-05:00Dear Mr. Seglin,I am struggling with identifying t...Dear Mr. Seglin,<BR/><BR/>I am struggling with identifying the original writers' ethical dilemma.<BR/><BR/>The basis for determining whether one is making an ethical decision (sans self-serving rationalizations) depends on the specific circumstances of the act or omission in question.<BR/><BR/>In the absense of several factors, including the intent of the adult in question, the actions of the child beforehand, and the generally acceptable legal principles governing the rights of parents (and children) in that locale, one simply cannot determine the ethical requirements of your writer in this circumstance.<BR/><BR/>Of course, one should not be expected to know if physical harm is occuring to justify intervention, so all persons observing obvious abuse should intervene in some way. The question remains, what is "obvious abuse"?<BR/><BR/>I say, better to err on the side of caution in protecting a child, but in my opinion, your writer overreacted.<BR/><BR/>I have umpired little leauge for many years, and sometimes in a situation where people think a call is warranted, in the absenbce of an obvious violation, the best call is to do nothing. Sometimes, as in this case, that's what you have.<BR/><BR/>Nuthin'<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>Your friend,<BR/><BR/>Mario Fiermonte<BR/>Orange County, Ca.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-31314132463950133092009-02-22T11:34:00.000-05:002009-02-22T11:34:00.000-05:00Has the world gone completely mad? "Tapping" is no...Has the world gone completely mad? "Tapping" is not only NOT abuse, I would venture to say that between parent and child it is imminently appropriate - especially when a child old enough to understand behavior limits is misbehaving in public. This man should butt out and save his "concerned citizen" face for children who actually need it. It's hard enough being a parent without having to worry that zealots are going to misinterpret any physical attempt at correction as abuse and report them to the authorities. This is where the failed mania of "zero tolerance" came from - people unable to make distinctions.<BR/> There was no evidence according to this article that the child was hurt or in any danger - so why does this buttinsky feel that his services are necessary as if it were? For that matter, why would anyone approach this parent with a "Can I help?" or "Is there a problem?" <BR/> It's clear to me that humans know only how to over-react to trends, so that the reaction to genuine child abuse has become an hysterical fear of even touching a child. Remember the child-care witch hunts of the 80s? Haven't we learned anything?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-74306251740988116892009-02-22T04:04:00.000-05:002009-02-22T04:04:00.000-05:00Jeffrey, I don't mean to start an argument, but yo...Jeffrey, I don't mean to start an argument, but your reader seems to be unduly concerned about sticking his nose into other people's business. If he had outwardly taken any kind of interference in this incident, he would be lucky to get off with a dressing down from the unlucky person he was finding fault with and perhaps have ended up being accused of interference in a family situation. This is the result of the politically correct situation we now find ourselves in our country in which everyone seems to be encouraged to stick their noses into people's private business to make sure no one is being abused, when it is your reader who is abusing people by such interference in a private situation.<BR/><BR/>Charlie Seng<BR/>Lancaster, SCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com