tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post2611615144027859614..comments2024-02-19T08:12:53.815-05:00Comments on The Right Thing: THE RIGHT THING: DO WHAT I MEAN, NOT WHAT I SAYJeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-3173543371419580012009-08-30T16:24:38.875-04:002009-08-30T16:24:38.875-04:00Jeffrey, I agree with the poster. SHE did not put ...Jeffrey, I agree with the poster. SHE did not put her friendship in jeopardy by agreeing to back out of the deal. The 'friend' put the friendship in jeopardy by putting the poster between a rock and a hard place. Either decision at that point risks the friendship.<br /><br />The poster was nice to voluntarily abandon the reservation so it could be rented at full price but the absolute least that this friend should have done for her jilted customer is to have spent some of her new found profits to undue the harm that she created.Bill Jacobsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05109292381489849674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-73836536938465921042009-08-30T15:02:17.708-04:002009-08-30T15:02:17.708-04:00I'm the reader who wrote to you. I appreciate ...I'm the reader who wrote to you. I appreciate your assessment of the situation, but Shmuel and Jacobson have it right. <br />The fundamental problem was putting me on the spot to make the decision. If my friend had nipped the new rental option in the bud, then her priorities would have been with our agreement (also confirmed in writing by e-mail,) and she and I would be on the same page.<br />By giving me the responsibility of the outcome I was cornered: assert the agreement and ignore that she was looking for a way out of it, or back out and deal with the destabilization. <br />At least by letting it go there is a chance our friendship can continue, albeit with some caveats, as soon as I get back on track. I'm not going to feel like a victim here since I think that I took the best course of action under the circumstances--she has to live with her own actions as well. <br />My feedback to her was sincere because I genuinely saw no other option if indeed I was her friend (of 40 years+). To have insisted (as I technically could,) would have been the insincere position for me. How could I enjoy the place knowing that every time she opened a credit card bill (for example,) she would likely as not realize that she have paid more of it off except for me? This is a feasible scenario given that she already made clear her attraction to the extra money. <br />Once she went past the option to tell her agent no dice, the innocence of our agreement was over--at least as I see it. Thanks again for the opportunity to get other points of view.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-20075046259510006122009-08-30T10:14:04.656-04:002009-08-30T10:14:04.656-04:00I agree with Shmuel. Her friend put her in a worse...I agree with Shmuel. Her friend put her in a worse place than she would have been without the offer. Now that the friend has backed out on the deal, she should compensate her for some of the hassles she put her through - especially now that she's getting full rent for it.<br /><br />William Jacobson<br />Cypress, CABill Jacobsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05109292381489849674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-22597595216578105372009-08-30T08:57:06.452-04:002009-08-30T08:57:06.452-04:00I disagree.
The friend should have told the renta...I disagree.<br /><br />The friend should have told the rental agent that the apartment was unavailable in the first place; we agree on that much. Having failed to do so, she found herself weighing a verbal agreement with her friend against the prospect of making more money. She should have considered herself bound by the verbal agreement and apologized to the rental agent at that point.<br /><br />Instead, she consulted your reader. In so doing, she implicitly made it clear that she considered the verbal agreement less than binding, and introduced an element of emotional blackmail. You're blaming the victim for putting their friendship in jeopardy, when by "asking" for advice, your reader's friend created a situation in which this was unavoidable. (Or do you really think the friendship would have been on a stronger footing had your reader put her foot down? Really?)S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17099948243102349368noreply@blogger.com