tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post4072409578312016527..comments2024-02-19T08:12:53.815-05:00Comments on The Right Thing: Gift-giving grandmother gets no graciousnessJeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-12177704521931785952011-11-27T18:24:52.534-05:002011-11-27T18:24:52.534-05:00If you give because you love your family, enjoy th...If you give because you love your family, enjoy the giving. If you give to secure a note in return, don't do it. If you worry the gift/check will be lost, send the package with signature required.<br /> <br />I used to fume over my nieces/nephews/ friend’s children not sending notes, to the point I used to send boxed monogrammed notes as gifts to them, and then I realized --- this is NOT the reason to give. <br /><br />If you see a gift as a vehicle for teaching gracious manners, don’t bother. The gift is only a manifestation of a larger problem. Lack of gratitude (and interpersonal skills) is much larger than the absence of a thank you note. <br /><br />One cannot change selfish people/children. I say give anyway for the sake that giving.M. E. Yancosek Gamble, Bethany, WVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-68161883351827016022011-11-27T17:43:30.410-05:002011-11-27T17:43:30.410-05:00Grandma Bee said it best. When I was a child (abo...Grandma Bee said it best. When I was a child (about 100 years ago), we were not allowed to use/spend/wear a gift until we had written a proper, gracious thank you note. The lesson was so ingrained that when one of my sisters married, she left gifts boxed until the thanks had been sent.Grateful Daughternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-78819660441931185532011-11-27T12:24:59.532-05:002011-11-27T12:24:59.532-05:00"Dear Gomez and Morticia: It discourages me t..."Dear Gomez and Morticia: It discourages me that Wednesday and Eddie do not give me the courtesy of a gracious thank you note for gifts. I love Wednesday and Eddie very much, and because I love them, it matters to me that they learn this important skill. <br /><br />I find their grudging attitudes to writing thank-you letters very discouraging and insulting. It takes the joy out of giving gifts. Should they treat other givers with the same ho-hum attitude that they treat my gifts, they will offend people and possibly damage important relationships.<br /><br />It is essential for their well-being that they learn to be gracious givers and receivers. I trust that you are working on these matters with them.<br /><br />Love, Grandma"Grandma Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15393052587240200239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-36249685794912761022011-11-27T10:06:21.644-05:002011-11-27T10:06:21.644-05:00Jeffrey, I agree with both your and Charlie's ...Jeffrey, I agree with both your and Charlie's takes. The grandmother is free to alter her gift giving as she sees fit to meet her needs but making less generous gifts to teach a lesson is likely to be ineffective. Since in this case, the 'ungrateful' grandkids know that their grandmother expects a thank you note, the lack of followthrough is on the parents and she should take it up with them. I suspect the parents carry the same ho-hum attitude towards the kids seem to.<br /><br />William Jacobson<br />Anaheim, CAWilliam Jacobsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-71669918093638988942011-11-27T09:11:06.152-05:002011-11-27T09:11:06.152-05:00Sadly, we're living in two different worlds as...Sadly, we're living in two different worlds as far as communication goes and relationships with children and grandchildren. This grandmother's story is unfortunately the reality nowadays. Sounds like she wins more times than she loses. The kids she describes who don't answer are taught by their parents so Grandma should take it up with the parents. Social media and texting is ruining communications in all age groups, and to a teenager or other youngster, a one word reply is the way they communicate. What really gets me is you watch a sporting on national TV and as the crowd is panned by the camera, more and more people are hunched over their cellphones doing their texting bit. And, don't even talk about adults driving while holding their cellphones, they're in another world, a large cause of accidents.<br /><br />Charlie Seng<br />Lancaster, SCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com