tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post7187829251142844533..comments2024-02-19T08:12:53.815-05:00Comments on The Right Thing: How binding is a deathbed promise?Jeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-17249281815292532372020-09-02T14:58:32.242-04:002020-09-02T14:58:32.242-04:00It is hard to keep a death bed promise if there ar...It is hard to keep a death bed promise if there are others involved.<br />I made one to my Mother to take care of my Elder Brother. Because it was a personal promise from myself to my mom. I has been mostly easy to keep.<br />Except for the fact that he inherited all the lands and other items of my parents. <br />Now trying to make other people happy is the problem. I often feel I am in the children's story " The Little Red Hen " They all want to eat the bread, but no one wanted to make the bread. <br />But I feel good. I have kept my promise. That to me is what matters. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-11649659770101772017-04-07T08:13:57.611-04:002017-04-07T08:13:57.611-04:00In 1893 my g-grandmother, Louisa, promised her hus...In 1893 my g-grandmother, Louisa, promised her husband (my g-grandfather) on his deathbed that she would move herself and their 10 children to another state 500 miles away, a move he had wanted to make for a variety of reasons, one being that he thought they would be more successful there. Against all of her own family's arguments, Louisa kept that promise, moving by train, with her children, ages 20-1. (along with her brother-in-law, his pregnant wife, and their 5 or 6 children). <br /><br />Nearly 125 years later, I wonder if that promise was really necessary. None of the ten children became wealthy, they struggled in their lives, jobs, marriages in their new location. <br /><br />But not one of them returned to their birth home. There are many descendants across the country in various stages of progress. Most are profitable, capable, independent. Louisa never remarried, lived well into her 80's, self sufficient in her own home. <br /><br />My daughter (Louisa's gg-grand daughter) concludes that she comes from a line of strong women. After 125 years my gg-grandmother still sets a high example!! Because she kept her promise, she kept her word. In our family, she is a legend. As you say, a promise is a promise.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00023541764973785042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-52236860538487527322016-08-01T18:12:38.725-04:002016-08-01T18:12:38.725-04:00My husband and I were married less than 3 yrs when...My husband and I were married less than 3 yrs when his Mother finally died at 87. On her deathbed, she made my husband promise to take in her youngest son ( 58 yr old high functioning autistic) as he could not live, independently. Our marriage counselor said not to do it but this brother had nowhere to go. We took him for 2 yrs and he destroyed our marriage. I am filing for divorce because of this impossible brother. Nobody else in the family will lift a finger to help. I worked day/night to try to get this man benefits - Medicaid - a JOB - and even got him a volunteer position at an animal shelter. I was sacrificing everything for this man and my husband refused to find him a room not far from home where we could be sure he was safe. My husband said NO. I finally said I couldn't live like that and he said to me.. " A promise is a promise. Sorry but my brother stays." I was shocked he'd choose his brother over his wife but that's exactly what he did. He stabbed me in the back to honor a "deathbed promise".. I am ANGRY that his MOther did NOTHING to prepare her son for the outside World - never got him diagnosed ( we did that when he was 58) saved NO money to help with expenses.. and expected my husband to shove me aside to make room for this guy. I can't tell you how resentful I am. I am angry that there is no loyalty to me - and no appreciation for anything I've done. The stress was unbelievable - we had NO privacy and now I have to start over alone. That "deathbed promise" was nothing more than a cheap shot at manipulation and guilt that destroyed our marriage. Thanks, MOM.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-71467582240866073982015-12-10T07:00:57.464-05:002015-12-10T07:00:57.464-05:00my stepmother made a promise to my father (he had ...my stepmother made a promise to my father (he had a month to live)a couple of days before he died they had a notary due both there wills I was there she in front of the notary and myself repeated that promise that there would be an equal split between her 5 children and my sister and I uppon her death but that will was never registerd and she made a new will giving my sister and I 5% of the estate we have no way of proving anything I call these people intitled parisites .. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04504811882136044244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-84494623563159035442010-10-31T11:09:19.605-04:002010-10-31T11:09:19.605-04:00i made death bed promises to Dad about money and I...i made death bed promises to Dad about money and I kept all. And I feel good about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com