tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post8118456642073999362..comments2024-02-19T08:12:53.815-05:00Comments on The Right Thing: THE RIGHT THING: SHOWERS LIKELYJeffrey L. Seglinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15648051034425906705noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-54399406166007200172009-09-06T12:16:14.872-04:002009-09-06T12:16:14.872-04:00Thirty-odd years ago, my office mates surprised me...Thirty-odd years ago, my office mates surprised me with a very modest but appreciated shower gift: They'd chipped in a few bucks each and got a set of towels. Somebody brought cookies, and somebody else had brought apple juice and cups. We celebrated at the 10 am break.It was very low-key and inexpensive, but thoughtful.<br /><br />A few years later, I passed the idea on. In an office of ten living-on-a-shoestring university teaching assistants, I let people know that, since one of our office mates was a new dad, would anybody want to contribute a dollar or two or three to a baby gift. Eight people in the office felt they knew him well enough to do so. My friend, who knew more about babies than I did at the time, helped me shop. I gave each of the co workers a photocopied sheet with an itemized list of small gifts purchased. Since everybody was in and out of the office all day, making a formal presentation was impossible. I wrapped the gifts in a tower of packages and put it on his desk. He loved it, and gave everybody thank you notes.<br /><br />These were spontaneous gifts, not forced, and at a scale that people could afford. It meant a lot to the recipient, and nobody felt pressured. The larger the scale of the operation, the more pressure people feel; and the more bad feeling it creates.granny beenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21166579.post-74372040352946535692009-09-06T10:51:45.430-04:002009-09-06T10:51:45.430-04:00I mostly agree with Jeff, but I would draw a harde...I mostly agree with Jeff, but I would draw a harder line. No one has the right to extort money from anyone - expecially for a gift for a person you barely know - with the implied threat that your working situation will be at risk if you don't. If someone told me I "wasn't a team player" I'd say "thank you." There's a very fine line (if any) between "team player" and groupthink. Where I work, they like to pretend that we're "family." It doesn't fool anyone and just adds another layer of pretence to what should be amicable professional relations. Maybe I should ask my administrator if I can borrow his car for the weekend - hey, we're family, right?M. Lawrencenoreply@blogger.com