Is it wrong to Google someone before you meet them?
Variations of the question about whether it’s OK to Google someone you’re about to meet regularly arrive from readers. Some readers want to know if it’s OK to do a search for someone prior to a first date, or if that borders on creepy. Others ask if it’s kosher to do a Google search on a person who is about to interview you for a job or, conversely, if it’s OK for an employer to do a Google search on a prospective employee.
Some readers worry they could be violating someone’s privacy by doing a search. They worry if their searches might be misconstrued as stalking or trolling. Others express concern that if the person were to find out they had been searched they would take offense.
Let’s start with the prospective employees. If they know the name of the person who is to interview them, it’s not only OK to search for information about them, it seems wise. On some websites such as LinkedIn, people can see who has viewed their profile. So what? If I see that someone I’m about to interview for a job has looked me up on LinkedIn, my guess is that the person is likely desirous of being as prepared as possible for the interview.
I see no issue with people doing a Google search on someone with whom they’re about to go on a first date. For those who find one another from on online dating app, this seems a no-brainer, a chance to see if the dating profile matches up with what’s available publicly on the internet. For others, it’s an opportunity to learn a thing or two about the date, which could come in handy if the conversation lulls. (Caveat: I have not dated anyone other than the woman I’d eat bees for since the Carter administration, so I am no expert on current dating norms.)
As long as no ill intent is involved, using the internet to find out about someone can be helpful. In courses I teach, I regularly ask students to fill out a personal survey prior to the course’s start. If they mention something they’ve written, I often will look up their writing or other things from their survey. My goal is to get to know my students. If the internet can help me do this, I see that as a good thing.
I do, however, tell students that I am doing this and I encourage them to not freak out if I have been viewing their LinkedIn profile. I would expect that some students Google me prior to class as well since they regularly ask questions or point out a particularly embarrassing piece of writing from my past. I encourage them to be relentlessly curious, which their Googling skills often enable them to be.
If someone asks if you’ve Googled them, don’t lie. They shouldn’t lie to you either if you ask them.
The right thing is to use Google to gather information that might help you get to know something about someone, but never to rely solely on that to do so. There’s no replacement for getting to know someone in person.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com.
Follow him on Twitter @jseglin.
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