Saturday, March 11, 2006


When I asked readers if they thought that Jack, the surgeon played byMatthew Fox on the television series "Lost," should tell his wife that he had been kissed by the daughter of a patient, even though he had told the kisser that a relationship between them would be wrong and couldn't happen, readers of both genders replied that he should spill the beans.

"To tell his wife would build trust in their marriage," writes David Douey of Windsor, Ontario. "If not, their marriage was not up to much in the first place."

Anna Purnell of Madison, Wis., agrees.

"In the kind of relationship I think many of us seek to cultivate,"Purnell writes, "the person would and should reveal the interchange, regardless of the level of hormonal surge it induced. To speak, to share, is to demystify. To hide, to hoard, is to seek experience alone when a far more desirable alternative is to seek it together."

Cliff Tao of Orange County, Calif., sees deeper issues involved. "There is no doubt that this is a temptation of the majority of married men," he writes, "and not admitting to it is just lying."

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