Should you expect to be thanked when you do the right
thing? And if you know someone has done the right thing when it directly
relates to you, should you make sure to thank them?
A secretary who works in the main office of a large high
school in the Midwest is the official tender of the high school's lost and
found.
"I can't tell you how many students bring in cash
they find in halls, doorways and parking lots," she writes. "Last
school year, I was given over $200 by students who found cash on school grounds
and wanted to do the right thing. Almost none of them asked if they could claim
the found cash if no one asked for it."
The school secretary believes the finders were motivated
by empathy, namely, "How would I feel if I lost this amount of cash?"
Some of the money gets returned, but some is loaned out
to hungry students who have forgotten lunch money. They sign IOUs and most of
them, the secretary reports, repay the loan within a few days. Some of the
unclaimed money is used for an annual gift drive to buy holiday gifts for
homeless children in the school district.
Students who turn in the found money don't do it for the
thanks or a reward, the secretary says, but because they've built a culture at
the school where they know it's the right thing to do.
Still, when someone's money is returned and he knows who
returned it, what's the proper course of action?
Another reader from the Midwest dropped his wife off at
the movie theater. He then handed her money to buy tickets from the bank
envelope he was still carrying from the day before when he had made a
withdrawal. Instead of putting the money back into his pants pocket, he put it
in the chest pocket of his coat. The next day, when he went to get the money to
go buy groceries, he realized it was gone.
Figuring it must have fallen out of his coat's chest
pocket at the movie theater, he stopped by to ask if anyone had found the
envelope. He told the manager what movie they had seen and that there had been
approximately $450 in the envelope.
The manager checked and, sure enough, a young man had
found the money and turned it in.
"He could have rejoiced at finding the money, but he
turned it in," the reader writes. He left a $20 reward for the young man.
"I could not imagine not thanking him in some way."
The young man may not have expected anything in return
for doing the right thing. But the reader takes joy that the young man was not
"so jaded or self-centered that he couldn't imagine what it might have
been like to lose something valuable himself."
The students at the high school regularly do the right
thing by turning in what is not theirs in hopes it will find its rightful
owner. So did the young man at the theater. And the gentleman who had his lost
$450 returned also did the right thing by graciously thanking the young man.
They each behaved in a manner that suggests there is some agreement on the
right thing to do, even when you don't have to do it.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of
The Right Thing: Conscience, Profit and Personal Responsibility in Today's Business and
The Good, the Bad, and Your Business: Choosing Right When
Ethical Dilemmas Pull You Apart, is a lecturer in public
policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy
School.
(c) 2013 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by Tribune MediaServices, Inc.
2 comments:
This story is too good to believe, the honesty of these examples is enough to give one a certain feeling of faith in humanity. Thanks, Jeffrey, for restoring my feeling that there is hope for our country in the guise of people who performed with honesty, above and beyond.
Charie Seng
Lancaster, SC
What one expects from doing the right thing and the act of doing the right thing are separate subjects, and it can be a little tricky at times. I was taught to say thanks for gifts and favors extended to me by others. I don't give a gift "conditionally" . . but I DO admit to expecting an acknowledgement of some sort. If I don't get it, I ponder the question of why I didn't. I didn't think about this when I gave the gift, but did so after the fact. If, while passing a person in a doorway, we accidentally bump each other, it usually results in both of us offering a "pardon me" - but if the other person doesn't say anything, it bothers me. My point is that the absence of a small item of anticipated closure can irritate. One person did the right thing, but the other one didn't!
Joe Read
Anaheim, CA
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