Seventy-one percent of U.S. teenagers 13- to 17-years-old
use Facebook according to a 2015 study on "Teens, Social Media &Technology," conducted by the Pew Research Center. Twenty-four percent of
teenagers say they are online "almost constantly."
But the fastest growing segment of Facebook users,
according to Pew, is older adults. It's not unusual then for older adults to
come across something on Facebook that might look a bit hinky as it relates to
a young person they know.
A reader in the Midwest, E.K., writes that she used to
work in a cubicle across from a guy with whom she would "occasionally
banter a bit." While they were working together, the fellow's wife had a
baby girl. Eventually, he became a stay-at-home dad and his wife became the
"breadwinner" for the family.
That was 15 or so years ago. E.K. and her former
colleague keep in touch as friends on Facebook.
Several months ago, the former colleague posted a photo
of his daughter and wrote that she now wanted to be known by a new name. The new
name was a shortened version of the name given her at birth, but wasn't gender
specific.
"My friend has posted many photos of his daughter
and family photos since," E.K. writes.
Recently, when E.K. was looking at her Facebook timeline,
the "people you may know" section caught her attention. In the group
was one of the photos of E.K.'s friend's daughter with the correct last name
but with a different first name from her given name or the shortened name.
Because she recognized the photo, E.K. looked at the
profile. Other than that the person is "male," there was nothing. No
"friends" or any interests or location information.
E.K. is concerned that this may be a fake profile and
that her friend's daughter may be being set up by other people to be
"catfished" or otherwise embarrassed. (Catfishing someone is enticing
them into a relationship after creating a fake online identity).
"She goes to an all-girls school and I know how kids
can be at that age," writes E.K.
Now, she wonders whether she should contact her friend
through a private message and tell him what she's seen and her concerns or just
stay out of it.
What is the right thing to do?" she asks.
The daughter could very well have a Facebook page and set
her settings to private so no one else could see her interests or list of
friends. It could be that nothing terrible is going on here.
But if E.K. is concerned, then the right thing to do is
to private message her friend and tell him exactly how she came across the
profile. She can express her concern or simply tell him she was surprised to
come across it and leave it at that.
Because the friend's child is a minor, E.K.'s concerns
about her safety outweigh any hesitation she might have in alerting the friend.
She wouldn't be outing the daughter since the father already seems aware of his
daughter's preferences.
It may be that there is nothing nefarious about the page.
But if E.K.'s alert can thwart off embarrassment or worse for the friend's
daughter, then letting him know about it is the right thing to do.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Right Thing: Conscience, Profit and Personal Responsibility in Today's Business and The Good, the Bad, and Your Business: Choosing Right When Ethical Dilemmas Pull You Apart, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School.
Follow him on Twitter: @jseglin
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net.
(c) 2014 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.
2 comments:
No. Mind your own business. Your friend does not want some busybody acquaintance coming out of the woodwork years later to accuse their child of being transgender, Your concern is manufactured. How do you figure that what you have picked up on from a distance not even knowing the child in question would be something that her parent isn't aware of?!? Would you seek to sour the relationship with your former coworker by bringing it up? It would be different if they had brought it up with you. They haven't. Let your discovery lay.
William Jacobson esq.
Anaheim, CA
I agreed with Jeff until I read Bill's answer. The student is a teenager and hopefully realistic with the possible problems in computerized information. Maybe more than the rest of the adults. Privacy is a right no more. The parents probably know whatever or maybe shouldn't know. I go with Bill.
Just for reference, my uncle left town for Detroit around 1950 to get way from something (we know not what) and he lived OK thereafter. Couldn't have been too bad as nobody in the law went looking for him. Now everyone would know and he'd have some sort of problems. How things change.
Alan Owseichik
Greenfield, Ma.
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