When the guests started arrived for W.B.'s birthday
celebration, she was excited. It'd been a long time since she had had many of
these friends and relatives in one place together, so she was convinced it
would be a grand affair.
Because W.B. lives in a city neighborhood in the
Northeast, parking is scarce. Her guests would have to jockey for a space and
seize upon any that they found open. They'd also have to make sure to read the
posted traffic signs to make sure they weren't violating parking rules.
When she invited them, W.B. recommended to her guests
where they might try to park since some streets were more restricted about
parking than others. Her invitation list to this party was longer than usual
since she had hit a milestone birthday, so she was hopeful everyone could park
safely and legally and then enjoy themselves at her celebration.
The guests started piling in, food and drink was
consumed, cake was eaten, gifts were given, and birthday wishes were spread.
Her guests began to disperse, but a few stayed and helped W.B. clean up and get
her apartment back in order. After the last of the guests had departed, W.B.
was pooped. But all in all she writes that it was a great celebration.
The next day, one of the guests emailed her to say what a
good time he'd had, to thank her, and to wish her happy birthday again. He
closed by telling her that the party and good company had taken the sting out
of getting a parking ticket.
W.B. felt terrible. As the day went on and other guests
checked in, she learned that at least four others had also received parking
tickets the night of her party.
"I'm feeling like I have some responsibility
here," writes W.B. "Should I offer to pay their tickets?"
W.B. can offer to pay for the tickets if she wants, but
she has no ethical obligation to do so. She went out of her way to recommend
where her guests might look to park in her neighborhood, but even if she
hadn't, it's not on her to check to make sure they'd parked their cars legally.
Presumably, they can read a parking sign as well as she can.
If a guest had gotten a flat tire on the drive to her
party, no one would expect W.B. to foot the bill for a new tire. Or if they
felt a little flush on the way over and picked up a slice of pizza to take the
edge off, no one would expect W.B. to reimburse for the pizza.
Knowing that some guests got hit with parking tickets may
have taken some of the joy out of an otherwise positive celebration, but paying
their tickets for them won't likely take away the sting. It strikes me that a
good friend might have refrained from mentioning the ticket, knowing W.B. would
feel bad. But none of them suggested she should pay.
The right thing is for the guests who received them to
pay their own parking tickets, and to remember to park legally next time they
visit W.B.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net.
Follow him on Twitter: @jseglin
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.
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