Is regifting wrong?

 

Is it wrong to give someone something as a gift that you got for free?

A reader who we’re calling Aton wrote that he regularly gets invited to parties where guests often bring gifts. He wrote that he often struggles with what to bring. Aton wrote that he is not crazy about spending money on a gift that his host may not like, but he doesn’t want to arrive empty-handed. He wondered if it would be wrong to bring a gift that he hadn’t purchased but had himself received as a gift or that he owned but couldn’t quite remember where it came from.

“Is it wrong to give a gift that I didn’t actually pay for?” wrote Aton.

Thirty years ago, the term “regifting” was made popular by the sitcom Seinfeld in an episode titled “The Label Maker.” In it, two of the sitcom’s lead characters, Jerry and Elaine, suspect a minor character, the dentist Dr. Tim Whatley (played by actor Bryan Cranston years before his Breaking Bad stardom), of regifting a label maker he had received as a gift. As with many episodes in the sitcom, there was much to-do about nothing and laughs were had. But if the stars of the sitcom were to be believed, regifting was a major no-no, showed great disrespect and could deeply hurt recipients if they found out they had been regifted.

That was a sitcom. In real life, if surveys are to be believed, regifting is quite common. In 2024, Badcredit.org found that 43% of the people they asked had plans to regift something they had received. A year earlier, Magestore pegged that percentage at 56.6%. Other surveys reflect similar results. Few suggested any of the regifters felt any guilt or remorse.

Either attitudes have changed since that Seinfeld episode aired in 1995 or regifting was never the egregious act it was held out to be. Some believe that regifting something you don’t want rather than it ending up in a landfill is better for the environment.

There also is nothing ethically wrong with regifting. You wouldn’t want to lie about where the gift came from, but few recipients ask you to explain your shopping habits.

If Aton or others considering regifting want to be thoughtful, then try to give a gift that the person might actually like. If the item is engraved with your or someone else’s name, then avoiding regifting those items is a sound move, although I own quite a few coffee mugs that have the names of people or places I don’t know on them that I find to be amusing conversation starters.

If Aton wants to bring a gift but doesn’t want to spend money on something new when he had many things around the house that he’s willing to part with, then the right thing is to do so as thoughtfully as he can. But he should recognize that in a few years, the regifted item may make its way back to him.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com.

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin.

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