Is it wrong to get angry when someone gets our name wrong?
On June 2, 1969, while sitting in folding chairs in front of John Hill School in Boonton, New Jersey, at an assembly along with my seventh-grade classmates, I received an honorable mention for an essay I wrote for the American Legion safety essay contest. New Jersey’s America Legion has been running the contest for more than 80 years. I didn’t win the local branch’s contest. That honor went, as I recall, to Melanie Cox, a classmate. But getting honorable mention felt like a big deal, especially since it was announced in front of my whole class and I received an official certificate.
They spelled my name wrong on the certificate.
On it, in all capital letters is typed “Jeffrey Siglin.” Close enough, I guess, so my classmates would know it was meant to be “Jeffrey Seglin,” but incorrect nonetheless.
I was disappointed as were my parents, but we didn’t say anything. As I recall, while we’d been told about the essay and the topic ahead of time, we wrote the essays while sitting as a class in the school’s auditorium, so it wasn’t as if I’d spent days researching and writing it.
I didn’t want my parents to make a big deal over the misspelling. Perhaps it was enough to know that I received the certificate. More likely, as a 12-year-old, I didn’t want to anger whoever it was we might have to tell about their mistake.
If the same mistake happened now that I am an adult (and it has), I don’t hesitate to correct whatever it is my name happens to be misspelled on. I don’t get upset if they use “Jeff” instead of “Jeffrey” on something without asking which I prefer, but if they spell my first or last name wrong, I ask them to correct it.
But I don’t get angry about the error. My assumption is that while they didn’t take the time to check the facts and get the spelling right or that they simply made a typographical error, they didn’t do it with any malice intended. Exuding ire over the mistake as if it’s a deliberate slight accomplishes nothing other than to make them feel worse about their error or make me look churlish, something I try to avoid when possible.
Nevertheless, the right thing to do when someone gets our names or personal information wrong is to correct them, but to try to do so in a way that doesn’t suggest they are an evil human being for making the mistake.
Today, I treasure the American Legion certificate for a different reason than being acknowledged in front of my classmates. I use it to remind myself of the importance of humility. No matter how hard we work or how much effort we put into some task, none of us is so important that someone won’t get our name wrong from time to time. And the world won’t end.
Today, the certificate is framed and up on my office wall along with a framed thank you letter from the White House mistakenly printed upside down on White House stationery. But on the latter, they spelled my name correctly.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com.
Follow him on Twitter @jseglin.
(c) 2026 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.
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