Call me by my name

Occasionally when readers or others write to me, they refer to me as "Dr. Seglin." I typically respond to readers when they email me with questions or positive or negative thoughts on something I've written. But I'm often torn about whether to correct them about addressing me as "Dr.," since I am not a doctor.

My hesitancy is because I don't want them to feel embarrassed about the mistake. My guess is that they think I might be a doctor because I teach at a college. (It certainly has nothing to do with any perception about my ability to heal.) But I also don't want to let the error go uncorrected and give off the perception that I'm laying claim to a title I have no right to claim.

While my alma mater might feel comfortable addressing its correspondence to me as "Dr. Seglin" because of an honorary degree it was kind enough to award me, it's the only place that feels compelled to do so. At best, I'm an "Honorary Dr."

I was reminded of this after receiving a note from a reader -- let's call him Otto -- who recently received an invitation to participate in an industry conference. Those who invited Otto referenced his credentials as a variety of things in their invitation, some of which he has never claimed to be.

Otto is inclined to want to accept the invitation to participate, but he is wrestling with whether to take the time to correct those who invited him when he responds.

"I could just accept the invitation," Otto writes. "But if I do without correcting them, am I misleading them?" He also wonders if they might rescind the invitation if they find out that he is not exactly what they might have thought he was when they invited him.

"If I accept now, then I could correct them prior to the conference," he writes, wondering what the right thing to do is.

Otto's motivation shouldn't be to correct the inviters only if he knows the invitation won't be rescinded once they discover the error. Hiding that he is not who they think he is to get to the conference would be dishonest.

The right thing for Otto to do, regardless of his reasoning, would be to include a clarification in his response to the inviters. They likely will appreciate the response and it will also ensure that he is not incorrectly listed in any materials that are distributed to other attendees.

If he doesn't correct the inviters and his name appears with the wrong credentials, he also runs the risk of being perceived as someone who claims to be that which he is not. But the main reason he should correct the inviters is that the information about him is wrong and he knows it, just as I know and now you do too that I am not a real doctor.

I encourage each of you to write me whenever you'd like with questions about any ethical dilemmas or conundrums you may be facing, but please call me Jeffrey. 

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 

Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 

Follow him on Twitter: @jseglin 

(c) 2018 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

If I buy nothing, can I re-sell it?

About five years ago, Liesl Clark and Rebecca Rockefeller launched the Buy Nothing Project (buynothingproject.org), in an effort to encourage people to give away what they don't need and ask for what they need rather than to purchase it. The two founders launched the project from Bainbridge Island, Wash., and used a Facebook group to connect givers and takers.

Because the founders strive to establish what they call "hyper-local gift economies," other Buy Nothing groups have launched on Facebook in thousands of different locations. The founders set out some rules of engagement, the chief of which is that "dishonesty will not be tolerated."

Those giving stuff away post an item with a description online and those interested express interest. The giver gets to decide who among those interested gets the item and gives instructions for pick up. The substantial list of rules holds that individuals can belong to only one group and it must be in a community in which they live.

A quick perusal of my local group includes everything from boxing gloves to a complete IKEA Stuva loft bed. Items are quickly snapped up with new items being posted regularly.

A reader we're calling Phillipe, alerted me to his participation in one such group. He noticed that a lot of stuff being offered was the kind of stuff that sold well at his neighborhood's annual yard sale.

"There's no guarantee I'll be chosen as the recipient," writes Phillipe. "But if I get some of the stuff and stockpile it, I can make a few bucks by re-selling it."

Phillipe doesn't want to get kicked out of the group for breaking the rules. But he also has no idea if anyone would catch on to what he was doing if he did it.

Since the groups are designed to be hyper-local, it's not unreasonable to think that some people who posted items on Phillipe's Buy Nothing group might notice them up for sale at the local yard sale. If people finding out about his re-selling of items is enough of a concern to stop him from his plan, then he should re-think whether he wants to go forward. 

If Phillipe had done his due diligence, he would have found that on the long list of frequently asked questions on the Buy Nothing website, it's made clear that no limits are placed on what people do with the items they get as long as it's legal and they don't engage in dishonesty. Re-selling is not against the rules.

Of course, as noted, some posters might see their posted items among those Phillipe is selling at the local yard sale and spread the word that posters might want to avoid choosing him as the recipient in the future. When something is designed to be this hyper-local, people are often up in one another's business.

The right thing is for Phillipe to decide if the risk of being ostracized by some on his local Buy Nothing page is worth his plan. If he determines it is worth it, then he should not be dishonest about why he would like the goods and go ahead with his plan. 

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 

Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 

Follow him on Twitter: @jseglin 

(c) 2018 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.