Whose seeds are these? I think I know

On her daily morning walks through her neighborhood, a woman in Boston has been admiring the large sunflower plants that some neighbors have planted in their front yards. The sunflowers of one neighbor in particular lean out over the public sidewalk, which the Boston reader uses each morning.

"A few years ago, I remember that there was a spate of sunflower robberies," the Boston reader writes. "Someone was going through the neighborhood at night and cutting off the sunflowers, presumably to sell them, use them for home decor, or just be vandals."

"I'd never do anything like that," she continues. And apparently, the great sunflower robbery epidemic has been contained.

But lately, as the sunflowers begin to complete their blooms, she's noticed that many are dropping some of their seeds onto the ground. Many of these sunflower seeds are landing on the public sidewalk.

"Would it be wrong for me to scoop up the seeds and take them home?" she asks.

Years ago, I had a similar question from a reader in Cypress, Calif. She wondered if it was OK to pick lemons off a neighbor's lemon tree if the branches swung out from the tree owner's yard and across the public sidewalk. It turns out that the tree owner was likely in violation of a town ordinance that forbade allowing your trees or shrubs to block public walkways. If she had picked a lemon off of her neighbor's tree, she might not have been on the wrong side of the law, but I suggested that the right thing was to ask the owner before picking.

The sunflower case is a bit different, however. While I'd still argue that the right thing to do is to ask the owner of the sunflowers if it is OK to scoop up seeds from his plants that fall on the walk -- once they hit the walk and are no longer attached to the plant -- it would be OK for her to take a handful and feel no guilt.

The lemons attached to the neighbor's tree in California were still attached to the owner's tree. The sunflower seeds in Boston are not still attached to the owner's plant.

Even if it is OK to scoop up some sunflower seeds, however, is that the best right thing for the Boston reader to do? She might determine that if the seeds are left to lie on a public walk that they are fair game, but this is, after all, her neighborhood. If she puts herself in the shoes of her sunflower-owning neighbor, she might ask herself how she would feel if she saw a neighbor making off with seeds from her beautiful flowers. Her neighbor may want to gather up his own seeds for future use. The only way to know for certain is for the Boston reader to ask him.

The right thing would be for the Boston reader to wait until she sees her neighbor and then ask him if it's OK if she takes some of the dropped sunflower seeds. That's likely to be want the Boston reader would hope any neighbor of hers might do if the seeds came from her sunflowers. 

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 

Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 

Follow him on Twitter: @jseglin 

(c) 2015 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Just say no to the boss's spouse's request

An employee for a business has held her job for five years. She's done well on the job, performing her duties to her boss's satisfaction, and taking on roles of increasing responsibility. She -- let's call her Tina -- loves her job at a business that is privately owned by a wealthy gentleman.

Several weeks ago, the owner sent out an email to the employees that his wife had taken on responsibility for running a series of nonprofit events in the community. There were many opportunities for employees to volunteer to help with the cause. They were given a heads up that his wife might be in touch.

Sure enough, Tina was contacted by the owner's wife, who asked her if she could run one of the activities. Tina learned more about the nonprofit and what the owner's wife had in mind for her. She realized that she liked the work the nonprofit was trying to do. But she also realized that the boss's wife was asking her to run this event on her day off from work on her own time.

Many years ago, I wrote about a program that a major bank chain ran with its employees asking them to adopt-an-ATM in their neighborhood and then making sure that those ATM areas were kept clean. The adoptive employees were not paid for their efforts. The program drew the scrutiny of some labor officials who found the practice to violate wage and hour law. Many employees who loved their bank would likely have picked up litter in an ATM area without having a formal program. Those employees a little less enamored of the company might have felt a bit more coerced into saying yes to the plan.

Tina didn't want to disappoint her owner's wife, but she also really liked the idea of getting paid for when she worked and she enjoyed her days off. She didn't want to disappoint the owner who signed her paycheck. She was fairly certain she would not be punished for saying "no" to the request, but she wondered if saying no was in her best interest if she wanted to continue advancing at the company at the rate with which she had been doing.

If Tina wants to say no, she should say no. She can graciously tell the owner's wife that she likes the work the nonprofit is doing, but that she can't participate on the day of the event. If she wants to help out and volunteer, she should say yes. But she should fight the urge to feel like she must say yes, as strong as that urge might be.

The right thing would have been for the owner not to have mixed business and his wife's outside efforts and put his employees in the position of having to say no to her requests. It's like saying no to the boss asking employees to buy Girl Scout cookies from his kid -- only a bit tougher since the request to Tina involved an entire unpaid day, rather than simply shelling out $5 for a box of Thin Mints.

Company owners and bosses should respect their employees and their time and not put them in the awkward position of having to decide if saying no to an outside, unpaid event will affect their job security. 

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 

Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 

Follow him on Twitter: @jseglin 

(c) 2015 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.