A psychotherapist reached out to ask me if she thought a
lawyer acquaintance had acted inappropriately. The psychotherapist regularly
serves as a supervisor to visits that noncustodial parents have with their
children. As a condition of the visit, a third party in addition to the
noncustodial parent and child must be present to ensure the safety of the
child. Because these visitations are often court ordered, the noncustodial
parent's lawyer will often contact the psychotherapist to help set up the
initial visits.
After one such meeting with the parent and child, the
psychotherapist emailed the lawyer to report that one visit had occurred and to
fill him in on the status of future visits. While the psychotherapist and
lawyer had established a policy of keeping one another updated via email, the
psychotherapist had a policy of not emailing her clients, but instead speaking
with them by phone to set up appointments.
She was taken aback when the lawyer responded to her
email by copying the noncustodial parent to suggest that they follow up with
one another about future visits via email.
The psychotherapist wants to know if the lawyer crossed a
line by copying the noncustodial parent, disclosing her email address and
suggesting he email her.
I believe he did.
Where the lawyer went wrong was in not consulting the
psychotherapist first to tell her that he planned to copy the client on his
email to her and suggest the email contact.
Such gaffes occur regularly in other situations. When,
for example, a friend decides that you might be able to help someone he knows
with something and wants to introduce the two of you, he might send an email to
each of you simultaneously rather than emailing you first to ask if you are OK
with him doing this.
The right thing in such circumstances is to ask the
recipients first before sharing their email addresses with others. Many people
will agree to help via email, but it should be up to them before they are put
on the spot.
Granted, many of our email addresses are widely available
to anyone who wants to find them. But it should have been up to the
psychotherapist how private she wanted her email to be and how she preferred to
have contact with her clients.
The same is true for the rest of us.
We should be the ones to decide when and with whom to
share email addresses or other contact information. Our professional
acquaintances and friends should understand that just because they can share a
colleague's or friend's contact information with anyone they want doesn't mean
they should without clearing it with the colleague or friend first.
The psychotherapist says that what's done is done. Now
that her client has her email address, she'll simply request that he continue
contacting her by phone. But she plans to let the lawyer know that she'd prefer
in the future that he not share her email address with existing clients without
consulting with her first. She's hopeful that the lawyer will not bill the
client for the time she spends clarifying this issue with him.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Right Thing: Conscience, Profit and Personal Responsibility in Today's Business and The Good, the Bad, and Your Business: Choosing Right When Ethical Dilemmas Pull You Apart, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School.
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net.
(c) 2013 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNECONTENT AGENCY, LLC.
1 comment:
One way to avoid this situation in the future is to address the email only to yourself, and BCC both (or all) other recipients. It is a very simple way to keep everyone's privacy intact.
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