A reader we're calling Betty found herself with several
days where she had no appointments, no need to rush around on errands, and
ample time to sort through boxes of old clothing and other belongings stored
away in her attic. It was a task she'd wanted to tackle for years, but never
found the time to do it.
Some of the items she kept. Others she offered to
relatives who might find meaning from the goods. Still others she sorted out to
drop off at her local Goodwill store. But some items seemed too precious to
simply drop off in a random donation box.
One such item was the christening gown that had been worn
by each of her children when they were baptized. Betty's grandchildren were now
teenagers so they'd have no need of the gown. But she had stored it well and
the christening gown was in pristine condition. Betty thought it might come of
use to someone who might not be able to afford a christening gown for their own
child.
No longer active in her church, Betty reached out to a
cousin who was still quite active in hers. She asked her if she might know of
some group that might accept such donations that could be passed along. Her
cousin told Betty she was pretty certain she could find some possibilities for
her.
At first Betty was elated. But then a concern set in.
Some of the charitable religious organizations she knew
did good work to help alleviate hardships brought on by poverty also had
policies that Betty found objectionable. Rather than follow state and federal
law protecting the rights of same-sex couples, some groups, for example, had
dropped their foster and adoption programs altogether. Still, Betty applauded
the other good works these agencies did.
"Is it enough that they do good work?" Betty
asks. "Does that outweigh the policies or stances I find
objectionable?"
Betty wants to know if she should agree to donate her
christening gown to an agency if it is among those who hold some viewpoints she
finds objectionable.
Betty is not alone in wrestling with such a decision. I
regularly hear from readers about whether they should drop money in a bucket
for a fund drive run by an organization about which they have reservations.
That Betty wants to take the time to try to ensure that the values of an
organization to which she might want to make a donation align with her own is
good. It's also good that Betty recognizes that some organizations do good work
in addition to holding views she finds objectionable.
But Betty has no obligation to support any organization
whose values she doesn't support. Betty should make sure she understands the
organization's policies clearly so that she doesn't make any decisions based
simply on something she heard rather than something that truly exists. If it
turns out that the prospective charity does hold views Betty finds abhorrent,
then the right thing is to find a different charity to which she can donate the
gown.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net.
Follow him on Twitter: @jseglin
(c) 2019 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.
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