How much should we disclose about a personal illness?

Two related questions arose this week about how much, if anything, we should disclose about a personal situation we might be going through.

Question 1: Is it wrong to share detailed personal information about a health condition or personal crisis on public social media?

Question 2: Is it wrong to avoid disclosing any information on social media about a health condition or personal crisis if it’s likely others might be having similar experiences?

It’s not uncommon to come across a post on social media from a friend or associate that recounts in details their experiences with a health scare or a personal crisis. Sometimes these take the form of regular posts to a social media feed. Occasionally, they take shape as a full-blown blog dedicated to the topic. Sometimes the poster limits views to only friends. Often, the settings are for public view by anyone who has the link.

Presumably, the first question stems from wondering whether it’s inappropriate for people to share their personal challenges widely and with people they don’t know. The answer to that is simple: No, it’s not inappropriate, so long as the poster doesn't include misleading or potentially dangerous information.

There is a long history of writers sharing personal experiences with the world. In Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness, for example, William Styron shares his experiences of dealing with his depression.

But the result of Styron’s work is not only a beautifully written book, it also provides readers who might also suffer from depression some solace in knowing they are not alone.

And that leads to what is presumably behind the second question. Is it wrong for people to avoid sharing what they might be going through if others might benefit from knowing about their experiences? Might there be something in others’ experiences that help someone navigating their own way through?

Is it wrong not to share among friends or publicly? No.

For some people, simply managing whatever they are going through is as much as they can handle. The thought of a larger public weighing in on their condition might feel like too much added to an already full ration of things with which they are coping.

Neither group deserves criticism, scorn or judgment for their decision. If reading about someone else’s condition is not something you want to do, then don’t read it. But save your criticism for something appropriate, say, the decision of Major League Baseball to put a runner on second base if a game reaches extra innings.

In deciding how much to disclose about a crisis or other situation the person experiencing it should be allowed to decide how comfortable they are in letting the world know without the rest of us judging them for their decision. It’s also up to each of those people to decide how much of their condition they want to disclose and to how much of the world they want to disclose it.

In Darkness Visible, Styron quotes from Dante’s “Inferno” to capture how it feels to overcome depression: “E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stelle” which he translates from Italian to English as: “And so we came forth, and once again beheld the stars.”

Whatever way it takes to help those dealing with a particularly challenging situation to once again behold the stars seems the right thing to do.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

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