Are you responsible if your recommendation to a friend didn’t pan out as you’d hoped?
A reader we’re calling Margarita had a friend and her 8-month-old child visiting for the weekend. The friend commented to Margarita that among other things she really looked forward to indulging herself and getting a pedicure at some point, but that she really didn’t think it was appropriate to bring her child along.
Margarita volunteered to mind her friend’s child while she got a pedicure. It was a summer holiday weekend, so finding an appointment was uncertain, but Margarita called the place she regularly goes to and likes and asked if they could fit her friend in at 11 a.m. on Saturday. The receptionist told her they were fully booked but could try to fit her in at noon. “How about 11:30?” Margarita remembered asking and the receptionist agreed they’d try to fit her friend in.
Margarita wrote that she enjoyed spending time with her friend’s baby and was thrilled she could help her friend do something relaxing for herself. She had always found the people at the nail salon to be patient, thorough and friendly. After the friend returned, however, it became clear that her friend’s experience wasn’t great.
“She said she felt rushed,” wrote Margarita and that overall the experience “wasn’t great.”
Margarita wrote that she felt terrible and responsible for her friend’s bad experience at a place she had recommended. She also wondered if she should say something to the owners of the salon about her friend’s experience.
It’s not Margarita’s fault that her friend’s experience didn’t match Margarita’s expectations. Margarita’s kindness in trying to provide her friend with a relaxing moment isn’t any less kind because the salon didn’t deliver. The kindness stands.
After the receptionist told Margarita they were fully booked but that they would try to fit her friend in, maybe she should have reconsidered. She also might not have pushed to have the appointment a half-hour earlier than when the salon said they could fit the friend in. But the responsibility to do a good job and to let Margarita know if they were so busy they couldn’t accommodate her friend fell on the salon’s managers, not on Margarita. If they knew they couldn’t fit the friend in without rushing her through, the right thing would have been to say no.
While Margarita shouldn’t feel obligated to say something to the salon operator on her next visit about her friend’s experience, there would be nothing wrong with doing so. But it’s unclear what she hopes to accomplish by doing so. Her friend, of course, can leave an online review if she wants to.
The main lesson from the experience for Margarita may be never to recommend trying to make a last-minute appointment during a holiday weekend at the nail salon. But again, the main lesson for the salon operator is not to agree to fit in a customer – even if it’s a friend of one of its regulars – if they can’t deliver on the same quality of service that caused the regular to recommend the salon in the first place.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter @jseglin
(c) 2024 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.
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