Is it wrong to take the last doughnut?
A reader we’re calling Honoré doesn’t want to anger his colleagues when someone brings in a box of doughnuts by taking the last one in the box. He’d rather leave it for someone else than be perceived as being thoughtless.
Determining how to be fair about sharing communal food in the workplace isn't an issue likely to have devastating consequences. But it is good to know that employees like Honoré try to be thoughtful about even the small stuff. Honoré is a relatively new employee so he feels the need to be particularly careful about not violating any workplace norms when it comes to such things.
In some workplaces, it’s fairly common for employees to bring in leftover birthday cake or Halloween candy and put it out for all to share. My experience is that any cake that is left out for the taking is gone quickly. Candy might go a little more slowly, although particular beloved brands do a fast disappearing act. While some employees might show some restraint because they don’t want to overindulge, it’s rare that anyone who truly wants to partake in some tasty morsels will decline the offering.
On the occasions when I’ve brought doughnuts into a class of students whom I knew had been up late the night before working on a project, most don’t hesitate to enjoy a doughnut. But other odd behavior sometimes occurs. Often, quite a few students will break a doughnut in half and eat that, only to return later to eat another half. Sometimes the half-takers will eat three or five halves of doughnuts rather than one whole one. I pass no judgment, other than observing it would be simpler just to take a whole doughnut in the first place.
I know, I know. Doughnuts are not considered to be particularly healthy. I shouldn’t be encouraging my students to eat poorly. There are other options, of course. Kale. Canned fish. Cottage cheese. Celery or carrot sticks. Nevertheless, even though I rarely eat one, I persist in believing that a tasty cake doughnut after a long night of writing could be good for mental health. But I digress.
It is also common for students not to want to take the last doughnut in the box if only one is left, or in some cases only a few halves are left. But I encourage my students not to let the doughnuts go bad.
Fortunately, there are at least two WhatsApp groups I know of where I teach where students notify one another when food is left over from a meeting – whether it’s protein and vegetables from a lunch buffet, pizza, cookies, beverages, hummus, fresh fruit, or any number of items. Within minutes students and staff can swarm to the leftovers and make sure nothing goes to waste. Reducing waste is a good thing.
The right thing for Honoré is to eat a doughnut if he’s hungry and wants one. Just as he shouldn’t feel obligated to eat one if he doesn’t want to, he also should feel no compunction about eating the last doughnut.
If he wants to show some courtesy to his colleagues, it wouldn’t kill him to toss the empty box and tidy up a bit.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com.
Follow him on Twitter @jseglin.
(c) 2025 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.
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