For many years, T.T., a reader from New Jersey, had
wanted to work for a particular large company. He thought he had the ability
and experience to do well there and believed that the company would be a
perfect place to advance his career. When a position for which he believed
himself to be qualified became available, he seized the moment by updating his
resume and writing the most compelling cover letter he could muster.
The job posting also asked for applicants to have three
recommenders send in letters attesting to the applicant's strengths and
weaknesses, as well as how the applicant might fit in with the company. Now in
his mid-30s, T.T. had a good track record at the places where he'd worked and
he figured that finding people to write strong recommendation letters would be
no problem.
He emailed three people with whom he'd worked, asking
each of them if they would be willing to write a letter on his behalf. The
first response he got assured him that she'd be glad to write the letter,
asking T.T. to provide her with an up-to-date resume, a copy of the job description,
and perhaps a copy of his cover letter so she had a sense of how he saw himself
fitting into the job.
But the second person T.T. asked responded by telling him
that he was not a fan of the company, its values, or the products it produced,
and that T.T. could do better. When the third person responded in a similar
manner, T.T. was now in the position of having to find two other people who
would be willing to write recommendation letters for him.
"This doesn't seem right," T.T. writes.
"I'm not asking them to buy products from the company. I'm asking them to
write a recommendation letter for me."
While T.T. thinks it's fine for different people to have
different opinions about particular companies, he doesn't believe that these
opinions have anything to do with how he's performed on previous jobs or how
people he's worked with perceive his own values and work ethic.
"All three of them had written recommendations for
me in the past," writes T.T. Why should it make a difference what company
I'm applying for a job at? T.T. asks. If they're willing to recommend me,
shouldn't they be willing to do so regardless of where I apply?
No one should ever assume that someone he or she asks to
write a recommendation letter is obligated to agree to do so. Prospective
recommenders have every right to decline the invitation to write such a letter,
regardless of their reasons for not wanting to write one. If a recommender
doesn't want to write T.T. a letter because they have strong feelings about the
company to which he's applying, then that's their reason.
It makes no sense for T.T. to try to convince someone who
doesn't want to write a letter to write one. The right thing is for T.T. to
thank them for considering his request and then to move on to someone else who
might be agreeable to write him a letter that could help him get the job he
wants.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net.
Follow him on Twitter: @jseglin
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